Part 2: July - December, 2017
by Hunter Bush

This summer, in theaters all across the country, if not the globe, Spider-Man is wall-crawling onto screens for the seventh time in 15 years, meanwhile a (Wonder) Woman carries a comic book movie without the help of a man (neither Super nor Bat), and right this minute Apes are at War for the Planet.                                            

Yes, it’s summer time at the Remake, Adaptation, and Long-Gap Sequel roundup and I’m here to break down what’ll be coming at you in the ensuing months. This summer will bring Atomic Blondes and Dark Towers (or at least one of each) and we’ll have the chance to see films based on books, comics, movies (some as much as 35 years old) and even a podcast.

I’ve watched these trailers and wherever possible have researched the source materials in an attempt to discern how closely the films may or may not be sticking to those materials. There will be, fair warning, some speculative spoilers, though I promise to try and keep it to a minimum. Also, as with my first article on the subject, I will be using certain words and phrases (‘presumably’, ‘apparently’ and ‘it seems’ and their ilk) a lot so if you’re looking for a drinking game…have at it.

Disclaimer: I have nothing against any specific genre of movie and I’m not throwing shade at any of these films just for being a remake or what have you.

So let's begin the breakdown!

JULY

Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets (July 21): Based on the French comic series Valérian and Laureline created by Pierre Christin and Jean-Claude Mézières that ran from 1967 to 2010 (at first in a serialized format, and later as a sequence of miniseries), VCTP is director Luc Besson’s take on the immense source material. The listed plot of the film deals with a threat to Alpha, the titular City of a Thousand Planets (meaning a galactic melting pot and meeting place for travelers) that must be found out and defeated by Valerian (Dane DeHaan) and Laureline (Cara Delevingne) who work as agents presiding over travel through both space and time. The trailers themselves are visual rollercoasters (as you’d expect from the director of The Fifth Element) but don’t give away much beyond that rather vague plot description. Nevertheless, it looks like an absolute blast and a visual spectacle.

The Girl Without Hands (July 21): Based on a short story collected by the Brothers Grimm (originally Das Mädchen ohne Hände) this animated French language production covers the story’s basics: A miller makes a deal with the Devil (always a fine idea) for “what stands behind (his) mill," which the miller thinks is a tree, but is actually his daughter (common mistake). Yadda yadda yadda, the daughter ends up handless rather than becoming the plaything of the Devil. This adaptation, by Sébastien Laudenbach, is animated in a semi-abstract, ink wash style reminiscent of sumi brush art. It is absolutely gorgeous and I encourage you all to give the trailer a watch.

The Emoji Movie (July 28): As I mentioned in my previous article, this film is based on the (*shudder*) hit texting phenomenon. Listen, I don’t even know if this technically counts as an adaptation, but I’m listing it because I just can’t wrap my head around it. The exciting-as-dry-toast plot description is as follows: T.J. Miller voices a “multi-expressional” emoji who sets out to become a “normal” (read: meh) emoji like his parents. Educated guess: he will learn that you should just be yourself and feel how you want to feel, with the help of an all-star voice cast. UGH!

Atomic Blonde (July 28): Based on the graphic novel The Coldest City by Antony Johnston, Atomic Blonde is a Cold War spy thriller from director David Leitch. Agent Lorraine Broughton (Charlize Theron) is dispatched to investigate the killing of a double agent in Berlin. There she is joined by David Percival (another agent, played by James McAvoy) and the two must unravel who killed the double agent as well as track down a missing list of other such agents still in play. Director Leitch co-directed John Wick (sharing duties with Chad Stahelski) so I have high expectations for the action in this flick, though it will be opening opposite The Emoji Movie, which features Sir Patrick Stewart as the poop emoji, so…stiff competition.

An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth to Power (July 28): The sequel to 2006’s eco-centric documentary An Inconvenient Truth, AIS sets out to bring us up to date on the current state of the world’s global warming problem. Does common knowledge count as spoilers? Cuz if so, spoilers: things…aren’t great.

AUGUST

The Dark Tower (Aug 4): I’m going on the record right now to tell all you good people that I am wildly excited for this film. The Dark Tower book series is Stephen King’s magnum opus; seven main novels (plus a cornucopia of related works, spinoffs and adaptations) about one Gunslinger’s quest through a strange, yet familiar world that has “moved on” to reach the titular Tower, with the fate of all things riding on the outcome. Idris Elba is Roland Deschain, last in a long lineage of Gunslingers with Matthew McConaughey as The Man in Black (not Johnny Cash, a different one) the main obstacle to his quest. Along the way Roland meets Jake Chambers (Tom Taylor) a boy from our world who has been seeing visions of Roland and his quest for the Tower. Conceptually, King uses an ‘everything and the kitchen sink’ approach to the novels, with horror, high fantasy and several different types of sci-fi all rubbing shoulders therein. The trailers seem to show locations, events and characters from most of the books but not all of them, so your guess is as good as mine when it comes to what will actually end up on screen.

The Glass Castle (Aug 11): From the memoir by Jeannette Walls, which apparently spent 261 weeks on the New York Times Bestseller List, this film stars Brie Larson as Walls and Woody Harrelson and Naomi Watts as her dysfunctional parents. The trailer shows the family, which includes Jeannette’s siblings as well, bouncing from place to place just a step ahead of bill collectors, whom Harrelson’s Rex refers to as “the Feds." The memoir has some very unsettling elements in it, of which I see no trace in the trailer, so it remains to be seen exactly how faithfully the script follows the book. Definite Oscar Bait material here, but the cast, especially Harrelson, seem to be swinging for the fences. Could be worth checking out.

Open Water 3: Cage Dive (August 11): Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the theater…it actually is, because this long-gap sequel to 2006’s Open Water 2 appears to be a direct-to-DVD / VOD release. It seems to fit nicely in the found footage / shark attack niche with the series’ other offerings, following the (inexplicably as always, captured on amateur video) story of a boat party capsized by a surprise squall and what awaits them in the waters. This trailer is the first I’ve encountered in this round-up to use a slowed-down pop song (well, it’s Row, Row, Row Your Boat but you catch my drift) which is a trend I cannot wait to see become passé.

Tulip Fever (Aug 25): Based on the novel by Deborah Moggach, the film is a (forbidden) love story set against the backdrop of the Netherlands’ 17th century tulip mania (it was a real thing!). Wealthy gentleman Christoph Waltz hires artist Dane DeHaan to paint Alicia Vikander (Waltz’s wife)’s portrait. The two fall passionately in (forbidden) love and attempt to use the booming “tulip market” to carve out a little nest egg for themselves.

Death Note (Aug 25): Based on the much-adapted manga by Tsugumi Ohba (writer) & Takeshi Obata (illustrator), this Netflix original production tells the story of an average boy (Nat Wolff) using the titular notebook to kill people who he decides are detrimental to the world at large. The book is able to do this because it belongs to - and can control - a shinigami (Japanese death spirit) portrayed by Willem Dafoe. Despite the uproar against the whitewash casting, director Adam Wingard (You’re Next, The Guest) has a fantastic visual and atmospheric sense and I’m incredibly stoked for this to hit screens. Fingers crossed it has as rad a soundtrack as I’m hoping (another usual for Wingard).

Birth of the Dragon (August 25): Boy, August 25th seems to be the day to release movies accused of whitewashing (as this was over both casting and story focus decisions). All that aside, this is the story of that one time Bruce Lee had a short, private one-on-one fight with a Shaolin Monk and T’ai chi ch’uan instructor Wong Jack Man in front of a bare handful of witnesses. This trailer is Hot Trash® complete with faux-dramatic voice over dialogue and cliché imagery that comes across almost as though it were a fake trailer from a genre-savvy comedy. That said, it just might be a perfect Bad Movie Night group viewing experience.

Polaroid (August 25): This film sees director Lars Klevberg adapting his own 2015 short film of the same name in which two girls discover an old Polaroid camera in a box during a sleepover. The camera appears to photograph an unseen presence that menaces (and maybe kills?) them. The 2017 version expands upon that by having the camera end up at an antiques store where it is found by another high school-age girl, who begins to suspect a strange shadow in the photos it takes is directly linked to the mysterious deaths of the photo’s subjects. Despite the definite Final Destination vibe I got from parts of the trailer, one sequence demonstrating why you can’t just destroy the camera / photos is actually pretty damn cool.

Crown Heights (August 25): Adapted from a story covered by the This American Life podcast, Crown Heights tells the true story of Colin Warner and his best friend Carl King. After Warner is wrongfully convicted of murder, King devotes his life to getting Warner freed. Lakeith Stanfield plays Colin Warner and for my money he’s an actor to keep your eye on.

9/11 (August 25): Based on a play by Patrick James Carson, the film (starring Charlie Sheen! And Whoopi Goldberg! And others!) follows five people trapped in an elevator in the World Trade Center North Tower on September 11th. I couldn’t find any footage of this anywhere but I considered it part of my civic duty not to let it go unremarked. This movie exists.

SEPTEMBER

It Part 1: The Losers’ Club (Sept 8): It is the story of seven unpopular kids, The Losers’ Club, who confront and seemingly defeat a supernatural evil that has been lurking underneath their small hometown of Derry, Maine. When, 25 years later, they are drawn back home by a tragedy they become aware that they ultimately failed as kids and ‘It’ is back. This is kind of a unique entry as It is both an adaptation of Stephen King’s 1986 doorstop of a novel and a remake of the 1990 ABC two-night miniseries event. The novel and miniseries both devote their first halves to the exploits of The Losers’ Club as children (with a bookend sequence of them in adulthood) and this seems to be doing likewise, though the kids’ pre-adolescence has been moved from the late 50’s to the tail end of the 80’s. There will no doubt be some changes as a result of this, for example a sequence where the kids encountered It via a suddenly possessed picture album has been updated to an equally haunted slide projector, but otherwise this adaptation seems to be even more faithful to the source material.

American Assassin (Sept 15): Based on the book by Vince Flynn (11th in his Mitch Rapp book series, though chronologically the first) AA follows Rapp (Dylan O’Brien) as he is recruited from “normal” CIA black ops service to a special counterterrorism group with the help of a veteran operative played by Michael Keaton to hunt, essentially one of their own, the mysterious Ghost (Taylor Kitsch).

Stronger (Sept 22): Based on the book by Jeff Bauman about his experiences after losing both legs in the 2013 Boston Marathon Bombing. Jake Gyllenhaal stars as Bauman, with Tatiana Maslany as his girlfriend and (be still my beating heart) Clancy Brown as his father. Gyllenhaal has been doing fantastic work the last few years and this looks like a remarkable story.

The Lego Ninjago Movie (September 22): Based on the toy line and bolstered by the successes of 2014’s The Lego Movie and this year’s The LEGO Batman Movie, this third Lego animated adventure sees a group of teens-by-day, ninjas-by-night defending the land of Ninjago from all manner of threats including Justin Theroux as the warlord Garmadon, who seems somewhat ambivalent that one of the Ninjago teens, Lloyd (Dave Franco) is his son.

Victoria & Abdul (September 22): Based on the book Victoria & Abdul: The True Story of the Queen’s Closest Confidant by Shrabani Basu, Dame Judi Dench plays Queen Victoria and Ali Fazal plays a servant, Abdul. After breaking protocol and making eye-contact with the Queen, Abdul becomes her personal “footman” and over time, her friend. This seems like a fascinating story and the film has an excellent cast (Michael Gambon, Olivia Williams, Eddie Izzard). My only quibble is the titles in the trailer that read “The Servant Becomes a Teacher” and “The Queen Becomes a Student” which I find not only insulting but wholly redundant.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle (September 29): I wrote about TGC in my first write-up, but had very little to go on. Now, after having moved the release date back a few months, they’ve finally put out a trailer. So. Based on the graphic novel The Secret Service by Dave Gibbons and Mark Millar, the 2014 Kingsman film followed Taron Egerton as the newest recruit into the Top Secret Kingsman espionage organization. After being betrayed by his mentor (Colin Firth) and narrowly avoiding the mass-murder of the human race via colorful head-explosions, TGC follows the Kingsman across the pond to team up with Statesman, their U.S. counterpart. The trailer displays the same bombastic action and stylized visuals that, I hope, become the trademark of the series. I wouldn’t skip this one for a fun time.

Flatliners (September 29): Based on the 1990 film of the same name, directed by Joel “Nipples on the Batsuit” Schumacher, this film looks almost identical plot-wise: med school students convene in a basement lab and use a science-y machine with head-diodes to kill each other “momentarily," “for science” but, as you’d expect, traversing from one side of the life/death divide to the other has some…spooky side effects. This time the cast includes Ellen Page & Diego Luna, but (SPOILERS) this film is being listed as a sequel and not a remake, as I initially suspected, so odds are at the very least that Kiefer Sutherland (star of the ‘90 film) will appear...

OCTOBER

Blade Runner 2049 (Oct 6): Another two-fer similar to It, but this Blade Runner is the 35 years out sequel to the 1982 adaptation of Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, a 1968 short story by Philip K. Dick. The first Blade Runner was a loose adaptation at best, following Rick Deckard (Harrison Ford) as he tracks down and “retires” android Replicants for the Tyrell Corporation. BR2049 sees Ford return, as Deckard is brought out of isolation by a younger Blade Runner (a term not present in the short Dick story, for bounty hunters who specialize in replicants) played by Ryan Gosling. The trailer is full of incredible visuals but not a lot to go on, though I get the impression that exploring what exactly it means to be human will be on the menu (a theme prevalent in both DADoES & BR).

The Mountain Between Us (October 6): Based on the novel of the same name by Charles Martin, TMBU is the story of strangers Dr. Ben Bass (Idris Elba) and Alex Martin (Kate Winslet) who decide to charter a last-minute flight out of Salt Lake City that will get them to their destinations in time for Bass to return to his patients and Martin to attend her wedding. Unfortunately the pilot suffers a fatal heart attack and the plane goes down in a mountain range. Now they’ll have to depend on each other to survive the elements. This trailer paints a thrilling picture, I’ve gotta say, and the one perfect tag-line bit of dialogue “We can go three weeks without food, three days without water and three hours without shelter” really hooked me.

My Little Pony: The Movie (October 6): Based on the TV cartoon series My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, itself a relaunch of the MLP 1980’s toy / cartoon juggernaut, this latest incarnation will see everyone’s favorite (new generation) Pony’s on the big screen. Rainbow Dash! Twilight Sparkle! Crimley Jambo! Jub-Jub! Ok, I might have made a few of those names up, but regardless, they’ll all team up to protect their home of Equestria from whatever threats it may face.

The Snowman (Oct 13): Based on the novel by Jo Nesbø, the film follows detective Harry Hole (ugh) (Michael Fassbender) as he investigates a seemingly cold case he believes is still active, the titular Snowman. A great ensemble cast including Chloë Sevigny, Val Kilmer, Toby Jones, Charlotte Gainsbourg, and J.K. Simmons rounds out this thriller that, despite looking rather run-of-the-mill, is from a writer praised for the intellectual nature of his crime fiction.

The Foreigner (October 13): Based on the novel The Chinaman by Stephen Leather (I know, that title is pretty unwoke, but it was 1992, a full six years before John Goodman’s Walter Sobchak would remind us all “Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.”) I saw this trailer in theaters before I was aware it was an adaptation and it looks pretty great. Jackie Chan plays Quan, the titular Foreigner, a man whose daughter has recently died in a terrorist attack and who believes government official Pierce Brosnan may know more than he lets on about the terrorists. The two engage in a cat-and-mouse game where Quan’s less than savory past is put to violent use. Jackie Chan playing even half a villain? Sold.

NOVEMBER

Thor: Ragnarok (Nov 3): The latest in the series of films inspired by the Marvel Comics character created by Stan Lee, Larry Lieber (Stan’s brother), and artist Jack Kirby in 1962, the trailer shows us Thor (Chris Hemsworth) defeated and his home of Asgard destroyed by Hela (Cate Blanchett, future wife of Moviejawn's The Fixer). Presumably later, Thor (now sporting a much more GQ haircut) does gladiatorial combat with the Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) for an otherworldly audience including Jeff Goldblum as The Grandmaster. The film’s plot seems to take its inspiration from a number of different comics sources. Firstly, Asgard has been destroyed a handful of times since its creation, some of them directly in connection with Ragnarok (which is based on the Norse concept of creation-wide destruction and rebirth; a natural fit for comics) and/or occasionally involving Hela. The gladiatorial sequence is what interests me most because while Hulk did end up doing time in a combat arena in the 2006 storyline, Planet Hulk, he never battled Thor there and the Grandmaster (a cosmic entity with a thing for games) wasn’t involved.

Blade of the Immortal (November 3): Based on the manga series of the same name (originally Mugen no jūnin, literally The Inhabitant of Infinity, which ran from 1993 - 2008) by Hiroaki Samura, it tells the story of Manji, an immortal samurai on a quest to kill 1000 evil men, and Asano Rin, a young girl whose family have been rendered outcasts by the murder of her father and his entire dojo. The trailer (live action, btw) seems to follow this plot fairly faithfully and looks to be filled with over-the-top violence, as you’d expect from (gasp!) The 100th Film by Takashi Miike!

Justice League (Nov 17): The concept for the Justice League of America was created by Gardner Fox in 1960, and while a great number of DC Comics’ assorted heroes have been members from time to time, the line-up of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, and Aquaman (usually joined by Green Lantern and the Martian Manhunter) are the core group, Cyborg not becoming a member until 2009. The film’s plot seems to be Batman (Ben Affleck) and Wonder Woman (Gal Godot) assembling the others (Henry Cavill’s Superman is conspicuously absent from the trailer) to combat some sort of threat from Darkseid (a really bad guy from the planet Apokalips, presumably played by Michael McElhatton).

Murder on the Orient Express (Nov 22): Y’all better be at least passingly familiar with Agatha Christie’s famous 1934 detective story starring Hercule Poirot in he which investigates the titular murder using his sometimes eccentric methods…cuz it’s great. The trailer is fairly brief but gets the plot across, as well as projecting a fairly quirky vibe to the world and performances. The cast looks stellar: led by Kenneth Branagh as Poirot, the film also features Michelle Pfeiffer, Daisy Ridley, Dame Judi Dench, Olivia Coleman, Penélope Cruz, and Willem Dafoe.

DECEMBER

The Disaster Artist (December 1): Based on Greg Sestero’s autobiographical novel describing his experiences filming the instant-cult-classic The Room (2003) alongside bonkers auteur Tommy Wiseau, this film stars brothers Dave & James Franco as Sistero & Wiseau respectively. I have to say it looks pretty fantastic and as an unironic fan of whatever-the-hell The Room is (I have many interesting theories) I will be in theaters for this one.

Ferdinand (December 15): Based on the 1936 children’s book The Story of Ferdinand by Munro Leaf, which tells the story of Ferdinand the bull who would rather lay around peacefully smelling flowers than stamp, snort and compete. One day, after being stung by a bee he is mistaken for a dangerous, fearsome wild animal and taken to “play in the big game” as it were (in this case, appearing in a bullfight against a famous matador). This computer animated film features the voice talents of my favorite new Ghostbuster Kate McKinnon, former Dr. Who David Tennant, and WWE superstar John Cena (as Ferdinand).

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (Dec 20): Based on the children’s picture book by Chris Van Allsberg from 1981 (and with no seeming connection to 1995 film starring Robin Williams {R.I.P.} but, y’know, don’t hold me to that) this reimagining finds four kids doing detention in the school basement / storage shed / what-have-you where they inexplicably find a Jumanji arcade console and get sucked into the game into the bodies of the respective avatars (Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Kevin Hart, Karen Gillan, & Jack Black respectively). The big change I can see is that by having the kids drop wholesale into the world of the game we’re losing the magical feeling of the game transforming the players’ reality. Still looks fun.