The CLASSIC CORONERS are Dr. Carruthers & Rosalie Kicks

“Dissecting films of our favorite dead guys and gals from the bygone era.”

For this edition of Classic Coroners, Doctor Ashley Jane Carruthers and The Old Sport, Rosalie Kicks pried open the coffin of The Queen of the Movies, Joan Crawford.

Joan Crawford’s forty-seven yearlong film career left a lasting mark on Hollywood. Known as one of the most influential actors to ever grace the silver screen; Joan did experience her ups and downs. With her filmography kicking off in 1925, by the end of the 1930s she was deemed “box-office poison” after numerous flops.

Joan didn’t let this stop her though. Instead, she made a fiery come-back in 1945, when she starred in the Academy Award-winning film director Michael Curtiz’s Mildred Pierce.

In one of her most memorable appearances, Joan starred as hard-working, pie making, shoulder pad wearing and determined mother Mildred Pierce. Her illustrious portrayal scored her an Oscar, which she proudly accepted in bed donned in her nightgown.

Mildred’s unforgettable qualities aren’t just her fashion choices and brazen attitude toward life. Probably the most noteworthy of the film is her relationship with her precious, eldest daughter Veda.

Throughout the film, Mildred relentlessly tries to please Veda by attempting to provide her with everything she didn’t have as a child. From singing lessons, French language instruction to fascinating frocks, Mildred gave it all to Veda via her restaurant money. In the end, this even included her snake of a husband Monty and most importantly her heart. Mildred is so blindly fixated on giving Veda a life better than her own that it inevitably causes her to lose it all.

Autopsy Report, Case #002: MILDRED PIERCE: A post-watching examination conducted by The Classic Coroners.

Of corpse, it is unavoidable to not notice the on-screen chemistry Joan and Ann Blyth (Veda) had. However, for The Classic Coroners we tried to look past the rocky mother/daughter relationship and focus on the fashions. We couldn’t help ourselves but to see our wardrobe of the FUTURE, which is sure to include: Hats & Shoulders.

Because we care about you, our precious readers, here are some of the looks that pleased us:

An Old-Fashioned Spirit Possession

Of corpse, our story with Mildred doesn’t end here, cadaver pals. For many of you, we are sure your movie night ends with your head hitting the pillow or maybe snagging a milkshake at your local diner. Conversely, for your friendly neighborhood Classic Coroners, we rarely experience such a humdrum existence. Maybe this shall come as a surprise but, after peeping Mildred Pierce there was only one way for our evening to come to a close and that is with a good old-fashioned spirit possession.

Immediately following our viewing of Mildred Pierce, we had the urge to write a letter. These are the words that will no longer go unread and will now see the light of day. These are Mildred’s words from the grave to an incarcerated Veda.

*This letter was documented by the hand of The Old Sport, Rosalie Kicks after a late-night phone call she received from Joan who was borrowing the body and mind of Dr. Ashley Jane Carruthers. 

NEVER SEEN BEFORE… UNTIL NOW!!!