Directed by Adil & Bilall
Written by Chris Bremner, Peter Craig, and Joe Carnahan
Starring: Big Willie Style, Martin, Michael Bay, DJ Khaled, Vanessa Hudgens, Reggie from Riverdale
MPAA rating: R (cause this one’s for the dads and the pop-pops, kiddos)
Running time: 2 hour 3 min

by Jaime Davis, The Fixer

Soooooo, what can I say about Bad Boys for Life, really? Does it even matter if this movie is empirically “good” or not? Does it even matter that directors Adil & Bilall have taken a token dad franchise off the shelf, dusted it off, and kicked it into high gear for a whole new generation? Does it even matter that the cinematography in this is damn near beautiful? Does it even matter that at one point near the end, after a particularly unexpected emotional scene, I uttered the phrase, “Martin Lawrence can act,” in a reverent, hushed voice? Does it even matter that Joe Pantoliano kicking back Pepto Bismol makes me feel attacked and seen?

No, none of this really matters because seeing Bad Boys for Life has always been a foregone conclusion, written in the stars and as natural a choice as enrobing yourself in pants in the morning or petting your favorite animal friend. Don’t try to fight it, because the rhythm is gonna get ya. Just ask Michael Bay, producer/director/hair model/actual superhero, who directed the first two installments. The detectives at Moviejawn HQ managed to get their hands on this extra special letter from Bay to the directors, and you’re reading it here first, folks. Even Bay approves of the spectacle, the glory, the drama, the heart, the adrenaline that is Bad Boys for Life. Take your dad, your dad’s dad, and his dad’s dad to see it this weekend. You won’t be disappointed.