Written by Aleksandra Khvaleeva
Directed by Pavel Khvaleev
Starring Polina Davydova, Evgeniy Gagarin, Sergey Topkov and Olivia Indik
Language: Poorly dubbed English (originally, Russian)
Running time: 1 hour 24 minutes that you could spend doing anything else

by Audrey Callerstrom

In his review of the original Dawn of the Dead, Roger Ebert wrote, “how can I defend this depraved trash? I do not defend it. I praise it. And it is not depraved, although some reviews have seen it that way. It is about depravity.” Sleepless Beauty (Ya ne splyu) is just plain depraved. And stupid. And senseless. It’s incompetent trash. It’s the juice that accumulates at the bottom of a dumpster. I want to find the writer (Aleksandra Khvaleeva) and director (Pavel Khvaleev) so I can throw a drink in each of their faces and storm out of a restaurant, Real Housewives style.

Chief among Sleepless Beauty’s violations is its choice not to bother with subtitles, at least not in the version I watched. Star Mila (Polina Davydova) has her voice dubbed over with that of American actress Jennifer Roberts, and poorly so. There’s never any sense of fear in her voice. It feels like Roberts recorded all the lines during a Sunday afternoon. Why didn’t they just bother with subtitles? And why do her screams have to be dubbed over, too? Likewise, there are unnamed individuals onscreen having online conversations during what looks like some sort of live telecast. They are all writing to each other in Russian. It’s not subtitled. I don’t speak Russian. It’s kind of important to know what they’re saying.

Sorry, I had so much fun complaining and coming up with descriptions of smelly trash to explain the plot of this movie. Sleepless Beauty is about Mila, a young woman who is kidnapped and tortured as part of a program called “Recreation”. She’s poked with a cattle prod, tormented over the speaker, forced to watch virtual reality images of graphic violence. They won’t let her sleep. She’s also tormented about her abortion as a little girl’s voice says something like “Why did you kill me, mommy?” (What is this, a pro-life haunted house?) The abortion is something that is conveniently brought up to torture Mila in that one stupid moment. She finds a baby doll in a cauldron of animal guts. The voice over the speaker is not remotely threatening. Recreation subjects her to killer trivia, a casket of rats, more violent images (blood, gore, stabbed babies, etc.).

What a stupid and ugly concoction this film is. No music, no style, no stakes. It’s constant torture, for torture’s sake. Did you know that, if you torture someone, you mess with their mind? That’s the point the filmmakers think is profound. I had a feeling in my gut that they were going to find some way to get Mila to be fully nude at some point, and I was right! Stay far, far away from this vile garbage juice.

Available to watch on demand and digital today, November 10.