Written and Directed by Miranda July
Starring Evan Rachel Wood, Gina Rodriguez, Debra Winger and Richard Jenkins
Running time: 1 hour and 46 minutes
MPAA rating: R Some sexual references and language

by Rosalie Kicks, Old Sport 

“She has tender feelings… and you wouldn’t know anything about it.”

I do not know how to hug. 

With one arm at my side and the other giving a slow pat on the back, was how I maneuvered an embrace with my partner in crime, Benjamin for the first time. After experiencing this memorable squeeze naturally he remarked, “ “Do you even know how to hug?”.

I have never been a good hugger. I come from a pack of non-affectionate wolves that are prone to calling you an asshole as a term of endearment. As research for my article, I looked up the definition of a hug and learnt that it is the act to squeeze (someone) tightly in one’s arms, typically to express affection. Wellllll... hugging me is similar to grasping a wiggling doggo after they first get out of the bath or attempting to grip a cat that came from the depths of hell, however possibly most accurate is a slimy slithering snake. Essentially, I am adorable, yet feisty and extremely soggy which all creates for an extremely cumbersome grip. 

In watching Miranda July’s latest flick Kajillionaire the film not only resonated with me, but had me experience something that is still quite new to me: feelings. In being raised by wolves at a bustling farmers market, the idea of expressing cuddly and tender behaviors was seen as a weakness. There’s no crying in the produce slinging racket, we had fifty pound bags of potatoes to lift and watermelons to carry to the little old lady’s car. Similar to Old Dolio (Evan Rachel Wood), my family were not the affectionate type. They were known for their snarls, not their salutations. 

Knowing the origin story of how Old Dolio got her name, I feel sums up the dynamics of her small family rather perfectly. Her parents, Theresa (Debra Winger) and Robert (Richard Jenkins), named their daughter after a homeless man upon learning that he won the lottery, in hopes that he would will his winnings to their child upon his death. Unfortunately, the money was squandered away and all they got was a kid with quite an interesting moniker. Essentially, this is a trio of low-level, mediocre cons, running scams such as stealing mail from PO Boxes and attempting to obtain refunds for a massage gift certificate. They’re willing to wear disguises and quite possibly masquerade as another person to attend a newborn bonding class, if that means there is a crisp twenty dollar bill waiting for them. These are not the type of people you invite over for dinner, they are the ones that invite themselves.

With fifteen hundred dollars in past due rent for the office at a bubble factory they’ve turned into their abode, they need to find money quickly or face eviction. Old Dolio hatches the ultimate scheme, what she deems as “an original plan” involving traveler’s insurance. The family would travel from Los Angeles to New York and make the return flight back as strangers. Upon arriving at LAX airport, Robert and Thersea would leave “mistakenly” with Old Dolio’s luggage, leaving her to make a claim with the airline for the lost baggage. In the end this score would total the exact amount needed to catch up on the back rent. What was not part of the plan was Melanie (Gina Rodriguez).

Melanie, a bubbly, charismatic and voluptuous young woman finds herself seated next to the eccentric Robert and Theresa on the trip back to Los Angeles. After a couple of inflight cocktails, Robert is spilling the beans to Melanie and offering her a seat at their so-called grifters table. This does not sit well with Old Dolio. They have always been a trio, splitting things evenly. Although, when it is discovered the insurance payment from the airline will be delayed, it is Melanie that hatches a new plan to obtain money: the lonely elderly. Utilizing her job at an eyeglass shop in the mall, she makes deliveries to her patrons, inviting herself into their homes along with the oddball threesome claiming to be her family. While Melanie charms, Robert seeks out the checkbook. What initially starts as a grand plan, turns to having too many emotional strings attached. Inevitably, Robert and Theresa cross the line with Melanie, but everything comes to a head for the now foursome with one simple word: “hun”.

An endearing term, often used by a devoted parent, but in this case Theresa uses it to refer to Melanie - an outsider. Old Dolio challenges her mother to call her “hun” in exchange for the fifteen hundred dollar airline insurance check. Theresa is unable to, but Melanie isn’t, which leads to a wonderful adventure in which Melanie shows Old Dolio not only what it is like to be loved, but what it is like to be human. Finding the joy and delight in the simple things life has to offer. 

For me, this film is July at her best yet. It contains just the right amount of quirkiness, a sprinkle of absurd and a story that will melt hearts. This family may seem far fetched and completely illogical, yet I found myself relating so deeply. My heart didn’t just break, it burst. Parents, take note: more than often it isn’t the money or the birthday gifts a child wants, it is just a damn hug with a side of pancakes.

Kajillionaire is available watch in select theaters today and coming soon to on demand.