Christmas Bloody Christmas
Written and Directed by Joe Begos
Starring Riley Dandy, Sam Delich, Jonah Ray
Unrated
Runtime: 1 hour, 21 minutes
In theaters and streaming on Shudder December 9

by Christine Makepeace, Contributor

Once a scarce oddity, Christmas horror has become a genre mainstay. This year alone we’ll see no less (and probably way more) than five new entries in the seasonal cannon. But as the winter holidays become a more common setting for terrifying hijinks, films need to work harder to set themselves apart. For Christmas Bloody Christmas, in theaters and streaming on Shudder December 9th, its ultra-cool Final Girl helps cement its place in the rapidly expanding subgenre. 

Written and directed by Joe Begos (Bliss, VFW), the opening of Christmas Bloody Christmas plays like a slice-of-life character piece as we follow painfully hip Tori’s (Riley Dandy) alcohol fueled antics. Tori owns a record shop and is, as previously mentioned, exceptionally cool. In fact, Tori may be the textbook definition of a “cool girl.” She slams whiskey and swears up a storm as she embarks on a search for an X-Mas hookup. As they throw back drinks, Tori and her friends argue about music and pop culture à la High Fidelity or Clerks. But it’s not all booze and Christmas lights. In the background something sinister, and Santa-shaped, lurks.

The film lays the groundwork for its murderous villian–a malfunctioning Santa Claus robot–early. News reports and vague comments are peppered throughout the opening, and when the big man finally appears, things escalate quickly. The ax-wielding Terminator-esque machine cuts through town with indifference; no one is safe from his wrath. As the body count rises, Santa sets his sights on Tori, and the absurd violence reaches a fever pitch.

Christmas Bloody Christmas is an undeniably fun horror movie that teeters on the edge of being too cool. The characters are pompous and esoteric, the dialogue dense and drawn out. Each interaction is a display of how rad, or off-beat, or awesome everyone is. But the performances are so genuine–the cast’s chemistry so palpable–that it all works on screen. Riley Dandy’s Tori is incredibly cool. Instead of feeling ham-fisted, her monologue on the under-appreciated Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 helps solidify the character. All the debating, references, and idiosyncrasies strengthen the experience and create an unexpectedly relatable friend group. The people at the center of Christmas Bloody Christmas could be coworkers, townies at your local bar, or even you and me. After all, we are discussing the Santa Terminator movie, which makes us pretty damn cool.

Christmas Bloody Christmas shines when the focus is on the violence and gore. Its kills are slick and super weird, blood and neon bathing each gruesome scene. Its tone is both tense and absurd, the mix of punched-in characters and schlock congealing to form something unique. This results in a story that plays out like an off-the-rails sequel to a movie that doesn’t exist. Christmas Bloody Christmas manages to embody both The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and the wildly divergent Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2. And like Stretch, the protagonist of TCM 2, Tori is positioned as a subversive Final Girl. The antithesis of the classic virginal survivor, her aggressive and proactive nature are essential to her survival. 

Stylish and eccentric, Christmas Bloody Christmas executes its ludicrous premise with ease. The kills are wild, the Final Girl unexpected, and the overall tone downright jolly. And while its referential dialogue is expertly delivered, individual enjoyment will likely be tied to just how cool you find the whole affair. Even with that caveat, Begos’s foray into holiday horror could easily become a seasonal staple. Here’s hoping we see an even more badass Tori return in a sequel.