Written and Directed by Brian Petsos
Starring Emory Cohen, Andy Garcia, Megan Fox, and Lucy Hale
Unrated
Runtime: 132 minutes
In select theaters, digital and on demand February 25

by Clayton Hayes, Staff Writer

Watching Big Gold Brick, the debut feature by writer/director Brian Petsos, felt like trying to assemble a jigsaw puzzle with half the pieces missing. To extend the metaphor a bit further, I wasn’t really sure if the pieces I had were from the same puzzle in the first place. So many pieces don’t seem to fit together, and those that did were not enough to provide me with a clear idea of the larger image (nor were they cohesive enough for me to determine what was missing). It was a frustrating experience that left me with a lot of questions, not about the film’s plot, but about its production.

The film is about Samuel Liston, played gamely by Cohen, a struggling writer who is at his lowest when he’s hit by a Cadillac driven by Floyd Devereaux (Garcia). Seemingly out of guilt, Floyd offers to hire Samuel on as his biographer and invites him to stay with his family as he recovers. This is all framed with narration by Samuel, and the audience receives glimpses throughout of interviews, book signings, and audiobook recordings to contextualize this metanarrative.

From the start, the film struggles to find its tone. Cohen gives a very big performance which matches best with what the film seems to want to be: an absurdist/fantasy comedy with some dramatic elements. However, it felt like he was in a different film than the rest of the main cast which, when the core of the film is the interplay between his character and Garcia’s, really weighed things down. There’s just no energy between the two, nothing that feels compelling enough to carry a feature-length film.

And its length is an issue. Petsos’ past work seems to have been primarily in short film, and the transition to a longer production doesn’t appear to have gone smoothly. There’s very little in the film’s first 90 minutes that has any bearing on its final 40, and mostly consists of odd vignettes or loose threads of conversation that don’t lead anywhere. This might be easier to overlook if the film was funny or if Garcia and Cohen were fun to watch, but Petsos is unable to fall back on either. Even Oscar Isaac, who’s worked with Petsos on multiple shorts and least seemed to be enjoying himself, is unable to raise the level of energy much.

I don’t mind watching a film that doesn’t work, it happens! What I do mind is watching a film, like Big Gold Brick, that treats its female characters so poorly. Megan Fox and Lucy Hale are given absolutely nothing to do except stand around and serve as sex objects for the male characters (and, in Fox’s case, wear a revealing costume for a scene that could be stuck into the trailers). The only other women with speaking roles are either interviewing Cohen’s character or barely have full sentences for lines. In a particularly egregious case, Kiri Etzkorn has to put on a stereotypical “Asian” accent while Garcia’s character brags about her skills in “Eastern massage.” It was all pretty gross to watch! I have to wonder who thought it was a good or acceptable idea.

Don’t see this movie. At best, it’s a mildly funny absurdist comedy with a few interesting performances. At worst, it’s an exercise in misogynistic screenwriting that does not deserve to be rewarded in any way.