Written and directed by Sarah Watts and Mark Slutsky
Starring Anwen O'Driscoll, June Laporte, Liane Balaban, Antoine Yare
Unrated
Runtime: 1 hour, 36 minutes
Showing at film festivals - check festivals listings

by Ashley Jane Davis, Staff Writer

“I can believe enough for the both of us.”

I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness. I also understood that I was gay before I even really knew what it meant. As a young child, I easily recognized that who I am was not acceptable in the community my whole family was entirely immersed in. So began my life of pretending, day in and day out – diving deeper and deeper into a faith where I never belonged. In You Can Live Forever, we are provided with a glimpse into the world of a Jehovah’s Witness community in early ‘90s Quebec.

Jaime (Anwen O’Driscoll) is a gay teen who is sent to stay with her Aunt Beth and Uncle Jean-Francois for a while after her dad dies. From the moment we meet Jaime’s extended family, we see they come from different worlds. Jaime looks like a typical teen of the time, with her Siouxsie and the Banshees t-shirt and her Walkman with headphones. Her aunt and uncle seem… different. They are Jehovah’s Witnesses, very much committed to their life in “the truth.”

After Jaime’s first day at a new school where she makes a friend named Nate, it’s back to the bubble where she dons her aunt’s least frilly dress (a personal horror of mine) to take in a JW meeting. While the “brothers and sisters” in the audience sing their song about following Christ eternally, Jaime, looking fully out of place and uncomfortable, spots a girl her age sitting in the front row. She begins breathing deeply and the music swells. The girl turns around and smiles at her with her whole being – young love in an instant. 

After the meeting, this mystery girl introduces herself as Marike (June Laporte) and soon invites Jaime over for dinner. Jaime’s aunt and uncle are thrilled, knowing that spending time with good influence Marike will encourage her to see how good life within the fold can be. However, aunt and uncle were not counting on Marike to have one big secret of her own.

Marike’s home seems much like Jaime’s aunt and uncle’s – tidy, muted, polite, and full of the kind of melancholy air that comes from believing you are an unworthy sinner. She lives with her father, brother, and sister and her sister’s husband. When Jaime asks Marike what happened to her mother, Marike tells her she’s not in the community anymore and she hasn’t seen her since she was six. “We’re supposed to imagine she’s dead.” We can see how Jaime tries to process all that she’s taking in. There’s the side of her who recognizes how strange this world is, and there is the side of her who is intrigued by Marike and how she makes her feel. The two have an effortless chemistry and begin spending as much time with each other as possible.

Jaime finds herself in the eye of a whirlwind – a secret relationship with another girl who will kiss her with passion one moment, and praise Jehovah God in the next. They sneak around and do naughty teen stuff, but also study the Bible and preach. I tried to imagine how confusing this would be for Jaime. On the outside it’s so simple. Marike is gay and being gay is not allowed, so she should leave and maybe find her mother. But really, it’s not simple at all. Marike isn’t someone who is just biding her time and pretending until she’s old enough to leave the house and have the life she wants. She is a true believer. Her faith is so unwavering that she promises Jaime that she can believe enough for the two of them – that all they must do is make it through Armageddon to that new system where they can live forever; together, yet apart. A secret in a tight-knit community that thrives on fear and spying on each other will not remain a secret for long, and the consequences of the truth will reshape their lives.

I love the nuanced dynamics and chemistry of the relationships depicted onscreen. Amanda loves her sister Marike, but only within the rules. Beth loves her niece Jaime, but will not allow her to skip the meetings. My favourite secondary relationship is the one between Jaime and her friend Nate from school. They have such a realistic friendship, with Nate teasing her for “becoming a Jehovah”, but ultimately being a strong support and a reliable touchstone of normalcy outside of the love bomb intensity of a high-control religious group. 

There are so many details that the average moviegoer might not catch that were so meaningful to me. There’s the Kingdom Hall meeting place that is identical to your typical hall with fake plants, year text scriptures on the wall, and no windows. There’s the JW terms and sayings that sound especially W-E-I-R-D after not hearing them for years. There’s even a look at what it’s like to go door to door with magazines (and a house-to-house record card – where JWs take note of all the conversations they have). I never thought I would ever see a movie that so clearly and accurately depicts life in that world. Folks, trust me - this is what it’s really like (although unfortunately I must add that JW baptisms are not at all sexy).

I know these characters, whose whole identity is wrapped up in their beliefs. I know Jean-Francois, reaching out to become a Ministerial Servant, who just can’t help but run to the elders to tell on his own family. I know Amanda, still living at her family home with her husband, likely because they can’t afford to be on their own due to focusing on their ministry rather than secular work. I know Frank, the big shot elder who would rather rush his teen daughter to marry a JW boy rather than disgrace the family by living as her true self. And sadly, I know Marike, fully believing that a promise from a book written thousands of years ago is worth more than real people she loves, including herself.

I’m begging you to see this film. Not only is it skillfully well-made with outstanding performances and a smart, funny, and heartbreaking script, but it’s also an important queer film. There are other movies that tackle the opposing and unrelenting forces of forbidden desire and deep devotion, but none are quite like this. Jehovah’s Witnesses are a group that many folks don’t know much about, other than the fact that they knock on yer door and don’t celebrate holidays. It’s rare to get an insider’s look at what they are really like – the good, the bad, and the brainwashed. I never would have thought I would see something I identified with so intensely on the silver screen. 

I don’t want to spoil the ending – it’s something you really should experience for yourself. But I will say that I think it is perfect and absolutely believable. However, I will share the end of my JW story. Four years ago, I left the only world I knew. I had to start my life over without my family and friends, who see me as dead, just like Marike’s mom. Leaving was indescribably painful, but ultimately far easier than the incessant torment that was trying to please everyone within. There is a way out, and the freedom and peace of mind on the other side is a happiness I only dreamed of.

I cannot overstate how thankful I am that this story has been told with such care. 

I am also thankful for my few school friends, who remained friends with me, even though I kept them at a distance. I’m thankful for the friends I’ve made through this very website, which has always been a safe place to express myself. Most of all, I am thankful for my miraculous wife Jaime (yeah, she’s also named Jaime) for giving me so much more real and unconditional love than I ever left behind.

Can you live forever? Well, you are living now. So live as yourself.