by J †Johnson, Staff Writer 

Dragula: Season 666
A Boulet Brothers’ Dragula Season 666 Serial Commentary
Episode 7 “Dungeons & Drag Queens: The Underdark”
Now streaming on Shudder 

How would you hold a staff? Like this?
—Yuri

Speak softly and carry a big stick.
—Grey Matter

Let us traverse to the tavern and roll for initiative!
—Auntie Heroine 

Fuck the fright feat, just curse.
—Jaharia 

I thought maybe you were a lesbian.
—Landon Cider

Kudos on your half win.
—Asia 

It was definitely questionable.
—Dracmorda

I’ll curse myself!
—Pi

This week we start with a quip from Nina Bo’nina Brown, who sees Episode 7 as it is: for the nerds. And we are nerds. Drag nerds. Rolling for initiative. This legacy challenge has always been a delight, not just for the unabashed geekishness of the concept, but because we get to see who’s really feeling the crossover of these two subcultures. As soon as Auntie Heroine breaks out the lusty Huzzah! we know just where we are with them. It’s no surprise that Pi feels comfortable with a D20 in hand, and we can assume that moving forward, Asia Consent and Jaharia will be big hits at the D&D roundtable, assuming they do not have their horribly outdated, utterly sweet wizard tattoos removed.

Anyway, we’re pairing off again. It’s a theme. However, not everyone understands yet how these things will be judged, which itself is a window into how the attention economy sees collaboration. We could imagine what we might make together, or we can worry about whether our partner will drag us down. Economies tend to be competitive, even in the Underdark. Of course, partners are pitted against one another in battle, and we might wonder what the winner of a staged fight wins. Or we might read a critique of oppositionality into the format. As in professional wrestling, the brawl is a dance: a partnership, if not an alliance. 

This episode’s treatment of the theme extends the approach of Season 666. Play the hits, but queer them all with variants. D&DQ is typically an acting challenge, but in this case it’s more of a demo. Fight choreography is certainly performance, but this season there are no lines to learn, no explicit storylines, and no quest. Part of the fun of the challenge is to snicker at awkward or campy line readings, and we lose all of that here. What we gain is awkward or campy action. Grey makes an unconvincing lunge. Asia drops arrow, character, and an f-bomb. Jaharia goes disco gnome. We do appreciate a new spin on an old favorite, but we’d also love to see some fumbled lines.

What we don’t need is any more clawless alliance drama. Hiss or go home, kitties. And Pi, you need not bother pulling Asia aside and speaking in low tones. Everybody knows she’s your number one.

Meanwhile, back to Nina, who has a few other high-level reads in a quick, nearly dragless recap where she nonetheless repeatedly points out that she likes the costumes but it ain’t drag though. We’ll disagree while taking her point: This is something else, and we love it that way. Nina’s method of watch along, pause & comment has an exquisite timing to it, whether she’s remarking that Auntie’s trauma dump has little to do with an apology, or speculating that the episode’s theme may be a sex thing for the Boulets. If you aren’t watching Nina’s weekly recap, you’re getting the program and missing the show.

And then there was one monster who has not faced extermination. If there’s a curse next week and you’re Pi, do you try to win the fright feat? Or, like, why bother, if you can let someone else do the work and still get the curse you want so badly for yourself, for whatever Pi-brained reason you’ve cooked up. It’s been a minute since we had a meandering Pi rant in the cauldron, and we’ve missed watching people shake their heads, hang their jaws, and roll their eyes. Oh, Pi, we love you get up! 

Seven in the grave, and only three episodes to go! Alas, in a few short weeks we’ll have to get another life. But, ah, there are all these drag monsters we have come to love, and if we’re lucky (as we are in Philly, home of Pi and Season 5’s Onyx Ondyx), they’ll come to a venue near us. The party doesn’t have to end just because half the country wants us all dead. Let us rise again, fight & love another day!

Things to watch for:

† Will there be three finalists, or an expanded field of four as we head into the Last Supper and the glamor/horror/filth supermonster challenge? In any case, it’s likely that either Yuri or Pi will not make it to the finale as a contestant—Auntie, Asia, and Grey are near locks. Yuri has been sneaky good, all things considered (including confession booth personality and iconic self-deprecatory chuckle), and though total wins do not necessarily decide who gets the crowning bloodbath, Yuri would need to sweep the closing weeks to have a realistic shot. More likely, the reaper is shadowing them even now. Pi has been the heart of drama and self-appointed arbiter of who’s properly making themselves vulnerable, and has fully established themselves as a deeply committed costumer and character actor. Everybody’s Ally Pi has perhaps painted themselves in a corner with two frontrunners in Asia and Auntie, either or both of whom could turn on them and make a real mess. Or Pi might just wreck themselves.

† If Auntie’s correct that you can’t win the whole thing without going through the crucible of an extermination challenge, and Asia is correct to assert that what really matters is to win the day most days, might Asia parlay a late season off week into a bounce back victory that puts her decidedly in the lead going into the final episodes? Look for lab table dissection of the week seven shared win. The Boulets’ tally is what counts, but Asia certainly gives Auntie and Grey half credit.

† In a season in which the Boulets have promised twists & turns, what unexpected swerves lie ahead for us? Will someone return? Will no one else leave? Will we have a double elimination? Or some combination of these, where the Boulets again put contestants on the spot to decide each other’s fate, but with the highest stakes. What if they gain the power not just to choose who leaves, but who returns? Stay tuned!