Directed by Tom Hooper
Written by T.S. Eliot (adapted from the poetry collection), Tom Hooper, Lee Hall, Andrew Lloyd Webber (adapted from the musical)
Starring Tony, SAG, and Golden Globe Award winner Ian McKellan; Grammy, BAFTA, and Academy Award winner Jennifer Hudson; Tony, SAG, Golden Globe, and Academy Award Winner Judi Dench
Running time: 1 hour 50 min
MPAA rating: PG

by Jaime Davis, The Fixer

The holidays are coming! You could go see Cats, the adaptation of the long-running Broadway musical featuring one of the most hated, misunderstood words in history (you know the one), orrrrrrrrrrr may I suggest you make this deeeelicious kitty litter cake? They’re both so tempting - how to choose? Why not do both? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve cleaned my cat’s toilet box and wondered, “You know? This would make for the most appetizing dessert!” Combined together, they’re a feast for all the senses! Happy holidays!

For the Love of Cats Kitty Litter Cake
(adapted from allrecipes.com)

Ingredients

1 (18.25 ounce) package German chocolate cake mix
1 (18.25 ounce) package white cake mix
2 (3.5 ounce) packages instant vanilla pudding mix
1 (12 ounce) package vanilla sandwich cookies
3 drops green food coloring
1 (12 ounce) package Tootsie Rolls

1 kitty litter box
1 kitty litter box liner
1 kitty litter poop scoop

Directions

1. Prepare cake mixes and bake according to package directions (any size pan).

2. Prepare pudding according to package directions and chill until ready to assemble.

3. Crumble the sandwich cookies in small batches in a food processor, scraping often. Set aside all but 1/4 cup. To the 1/4 cup add a few drops of green food coloring and mix.

4. When cakes are cooled to room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl. Toss with 1/2 of the remaining cookie crumbs, and the chilled pudding. You probably won't need all of the pudding, you want the cake to be just moist, not soggy. You don’t want your shit cake to taste like shit!

5. Line a (new, unused!) kitty litter box with a (new, unused!) kitty litter liner. Put cake mixture into the box.

6. This is when the magic happens! Put half of the unwrapped Tootsie Rolls in a microwave safe dish and heat until softened. Shape the ends so that they are no longer blunt, and curve the tootsie rolls slightly. Bury tootsie rolls randomly in the cake and sprinkle with half of the remaining cookie crumbs. Sprinkle a small amount of the green colored cookie crumbs lightly over the top. You guys, you’re making (fake) cat poop! Liberating!

7. Heat three or four of the Tootsie Rolls in the microwave until they’re almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle lightly with some of the green cookie crumbs. Heat the remaining tootsie rolls until pliable and shape as before. Spread all but one randomly over top of cake mixture. Sprinkle with any remaining cookie crumbs. Hang the remaining Tootsie Roll over side of litter box (the more realistic, the better!) and sprinkle with a few green cookie crumbs. The grosser, the better, and the more people will want to dig in!

8. Insert a (new, unused) poop scoop into the cake for an even more true-to-life look!

9. Throw in trash can.

10. Never watch Cats.