Directed by Brendan Walsh
Starring Vincent Piazza, Genesis Rodriguez and Mavis Simpson-Ernst
Running time: 1 hour and 38 minutes

by Ashley Jane

“I don’t think we should get out of here.” - Matthew
Note: I do

I grew up in a town that has snow and cold for upwards of eight months out of the year. That being said, the threat of being stuck in a vehicle during a snowstorm was always very real to me. Everyone had emergency kits in their vehicles for this very reason – you just did. I remember mine included matches, candlesticks, a flashlight, batteries, a hand-cranked phone charger, 2 road flares, water, granola bars, a blanket, hand warmers and a tool you could use to break your car window if you needed. Thinking about it, that window breaker thingie (I do not know what they are really called) was actually a branded gift from a friend’s workplace. You know how some places stamp their logos on travel mugs and pens? Welcome to Northern Ontario where you get emergency window breaking tools for being a client! One time, as a teen, this guy Greg drove me home from a party. When we got into the car, he lit a candle that was in his cup holder as a means of warmth (“not to make any moves,” as he explained). In fact, once while driving in an ice storm (which was not smart), I lost control and my car slid off the road, down a deep and steep slope into a field where I got fully stuck in several feet of snow and had to troubleshoot how to get out (I do remember being pleased that my CD didn’t skip as I went over)! All things considered, I jumped at a chance to see a movie about people trapped in a storm! How will they handle it?!

As we watch, we gather that husband and wife, Matthew (Vincent Piazza) and Naomi (Genesis Rodriguez) are somewhere similarly very snowy (it’s supposed to be Norway). On the way to their hotel, they are forced to pull over to the side of the road and wait for a snowstorm to pass. While waiting, they both fall asleep and eventually wake up in an icy car tomb. Trapped.

Right away I was annoyed by how they talk to each other. Like yeah, this is no doubt a s-t-r-e-s-s-f-u-l situation, I get it. But it took literally less than one minute to descend into accusatory blaming and frustrated outbursts. That bothered me. I realize everyone reacts to stressful (and potentially life-threatening) situations differently. No one is perfect. For instance, I’m the kind of person who stays calm for almost anything but gets really sad if someone takes their stress out on me. So on top of everything, you have to deal with caring for a sad puppy with love and reassurance before I can get back to being calm. Clearly, I would be no treat in this scenario either! However, in Centigrade, there was no moment of reason before the frustration. It took under a minute to set the tone for the remaining chilly 88 minutes (that felt much longer).

Attitudes aside, there were many decisions that I was puzzled by. The first issue: “I have to pee”. Okay, well, then do it. What’s the big deal? (Again, I grew up in the “wilderness” of Northern Ontario.) Matthew gives Naomi a towel, which seems like a… very big waste of a towel. Do they not have anyyyyy kind of container? You’re gonna go ahead and make a towel you could use for warmth, first aid, comfort, etc. into a toilet instead? No. Minutes later as Naomi complains about their lack of food, Matthew holds up a tin of chocolates. Great! Tasty energy pills and a container with a lid to replace the towel! Oh. But those chocolates are for her sister, so that’s a no. Hmmkay. I think your sister would prefer your survival over chocolates, but who am I to assume? At this point I stopped internally questioning their decisions and decided to just go along for the ride and see how it all unfolds. This didn’t make anything more enjoyable.

The two disagree on everything. Neither one can seem to do anything right. Matthew’s plan is to literally do nothing. He reasons that they don’t know what’s outside and it might be worse out there. Naomi is due to appear at a book signing, so he figures that when she doesn’t show up, people are bound to come looking for her. Naomi, however, finds this to be a very stupid idea. She wants to break that window and dig through the snow. What is the best decision? I don’t really know. In scary situations, I’m more in the “stay put” camp (especially when cold is involved - see the igloo effect). But once I saw they were directly on the side of a road, I changed my mind. In one scene, a snow plow drives by their car and buries them deeper in their frozen coffin. That would be my cue to do whatever it takes to get out of that vehicle. We eventually learn that Naomi is pregnant, which again, would lead me to want to take more action, since a baby is involved. But from the comfort of my apartment I have no choice but to sit and stare.

Truthfully, not much happens in this movie. It’s dark, it’s quiet and it’s tense. I realize that’s the point. I should say, I do like bottle movies and claustrophobic scenes! The idea of the film definitely appealed to me. The execution was perfectly competent. Everyone does their job and I have no issues with the technical aspects or the acting. However, the problem here is that there is not one moment of levity. Not an ounce of joy. Not a sprinkling of pleasantness. That is my problem with this film. It’s the blame game ramped up to 11 with heaps of despair and shitty attitudes. Rather than be loving and a comforting support to each other, Naomi and Matthew are in a constant battle. I honestly cannot think of anyone I would treat this way if I found myself in the same scenario, let alone my spouse. True, once the amazingly uncomplicated baby delivery scene occurs, the ice between the two melts very slightly, but by that point, it’s far too late for me.

I have spent more than enough time with these characters. Unfortunately, there is nothing portrayed to make the audience care about them. We don’t know anything about them, and the only way we see them behave is poorly. I’m certain I would have liked the movie more if I liked the characters more, but… here we are. The thing is, they may be totally great people in real life! My criticism has nothing to do with the people the characters were based on – I do not know them. Unfortunately, the writers have highlighted unlikeable qualities, leaving nothing to be really invested in. If the audience is trapped in a singular location where nothing happens, at least let us be with folks who are likeable, or at least interesting.

I’ll tell you one thing – if I would have been the third person stuck in this vehicle, I would have used my handy window breaking tool to get the hell outta there. I know quarantine is tough, I feel you, but at least we’re not trapped in this car.

Available on demand today.