Written by Airell Anthony Hayles
Directed by Airell Anthony Hayles and Sam Casserly
Starring Chrissy Randall, Tom Wheatley, Emily Booth and Nicole Miners
Running time: 1 hour and 23 minutes

by Audrey Callerstrom

I don’t expect anyone making a feature-length film on a shoestring budget to whip up something mind-blowing. And I recognize that everyone involved in the making of a film is a person who set something aside to make it a priority. I don’t want to sit here and finger-wag at, what I assume is, a group of well-intentioned people, working hard to bring They’re Outside to fruition. Writer Airell Anthony Hayles sat in front of a computer, rubbing his temples, trying to finalize the script. The actors met for read-throughs. People arranged locations, made sure that cameras were charged, drafted and printed waivers. “Could you reprint the script so that it has page numbers?” “Sure.” A rainstorm halts production. Some couple decides that the background of your shot is when they want to start taking vacation selfies. “Um, we’re shooting a film. Could you…” This is all hard work. But still, I can’t hold back when I talk about They’re Outside, which is contrived and dull and, at times, painful to watch.

This is writer and co-director Hayles’s second full-length film, the first being a film called Heckle about a comedian’s heckler-turned-stalker. Steve Guttenberg was in it. This is co-director Sam Casserly’s first feature length film, and it shows. Pacing drags, and the actors don’t appear to be given any direction before the beginning of each scene. Scenes that are supposed to take place on different days all blend together. In brief, They’re Outside is about (i) a mythical character named “Green Eyes” who knocks on your door and then continues to terrorize you, and (ii) an agoraphobic woman named Sarah (Chrissy Randall), who is the subject of a YouTube show, “Psychology - Inside/Out,” hosted by Max (Tom Wheatley). Max wants to cure Sarah of her agoraphobia; Sarah, meanwhile, insists that leaving her house will make her prey to Green Eyes, who may have had something to do with the death of her young daughter years ago. Max brings his cameraperson/girlfriend Nicole (Nicole Miners), along, and Sarah has the company of her friend Penny (Emily Booth), a funny and exuberant personality who keeps her stocked with supplies.

They’re Outside starts out promising enough. Much like last year’s Extra Ordinary, They’re Outside opens with footage of an Unsolved Mysteries-like television show which discusses the myth of Green Eyes. However, here the footage isn’t played for laughs. The show-within-a-show is as dull as the film itself, showing only sketches illustrating the Green Eyes myth rather than any actual footage (on that note, why not just call the film “Green Eyes?”) Tom Wheatley is handsome, stubborn and arrogant as Max; however, the film only skims the surface of the character. Wheatley does what he can with some of the irksome, cookie-cutter dialogue like “The dead are dead and in the ground! There’s no such thing as ghosts!” Max is somehow both a fan of Ghostbusters (he flirts about it with Sarah early on) and extremely adamant that ghosts are not real. Emily Booth as Penny appears to be in a different, better film; her energy here sparkles, much like her flashy jewelry, big hoops and colorful caftans. When Max tells Penny that he practices cognitive behavioral therapy, she responds with a chuckle. “Sounds boring!” The weak link, aside from a sloppy script with bad dialogue, is Randall. She’s cold, robotic, and speaks in monotone. She never behaves as someone with a crippling fear. If I can see you trying to act, you are not doing it well. And I can see Randall trying to act here. It doesn’t feel like she’s given any proper direction to handle the character.

For a movie that is less than 90 minutes, They’re Outside drags. For a horror film, it’s tame. A jumps-scare comes from an overturned dresser, which is less of a scare and more of a nuisance, because now someone has to put all that shit away. A lazy reveal involving a dead ex-girlfriend of Max’s is thrown in, seemingly last minute. There are several inconsistencies with the script, and the editing is confusing. Characters discuss things that were supposed to have already happened, and then footage is shown of that thing happening. So did someone take this found footage and completely ruin the timeline? Is there supposed to be chemistry between Max and Sarah? At one point they kissed, and I stifled a giggle. Huh? Things start to feel suspenseful toward the end, but it’s an isolated, brief moment. The film ends abruptly. I paused the film midway and checked my phone. I saw that a friend posted a video of his young son talking with great enthusiasm and wonder about his Dungeons and Dragons game. Adventures! Tricks! Magic! Hills! Giants! Bears! Cloaks! Lightning! It piqued my curiosity, which I can’t say about anything in They’re Outside.