Cold Wallet
Directed by Cutter Hodierne
Written by John Hibey
Starring Raul Castillo, Tony Cavalero, & Melonie Diaz
Unrated
Runtime: 1 hours, 24 minutes
In theaters and digital on February 28

by Megan Bailey, Staff Writer

Every heist movie has a turn. A moment where everything in the plan starts to go off the rails (for better or worse). A good number of heist films have more than one turn in order to keep the audience on the edge of their seats. Cold Wallet has two, plus a character moment that’s a punch to the gut.

But let’s go back to the beginning: Cold Wallet starts with Billy (Raul Castillo) celebrating the holidays and encouraging everyone to buy crypto. He’s specifically interested in the crypto currency of Tulip, and he convinces his friend Dom (Tony Cavalero) to buy in. Cut to a few days later when the owner of Tulip, Charles Hegel (Josh Brener), is supposedly found dead and everyone’s lost their money. Billy finds out from Eva (Melonie Diaz), a fellow Redditor, that Hegel might not be dead after all, and Billy, Dom, and Eva hatch a plan to visit his house to confront him.

If this all sounds a little bit too online, I do think that’s a main issue with this film. I’m not sure how Dumb Money handled this problem, as it has a similar premise about online conflict (though it’s about buying stocks rather than cryptocurrency). When depicting content from the internet, there has to be some kind of pull to make the virtual world feel tangible to viewers. I don’t think Cold Wallet gets there.

Unfortunately, though this film is presented by Steven Soderbergh, it doesn’t have anything resembling his visual flare. There’s not enough to keep the audience interested in whether these characters can get access to a USB drive or find the right passcode to get into the blockchain. Heists are more compelling when there’s some kind of visual spectacle: Will they be able to break into a bank vault (and get back out)? Will the women be able to steal jewelry from inside the Met and remake the pieces? You get the idea. In this film, it’s just a big, mostly empty house and a hunt for virtual money.

The stakes are set up clearly, and we understand why each character would want to confront Hegel if given the chance. About thirty minutes in, the film turns, and our main trio is forced to deal with the higher stakes. A half an hour later, there’s another turn. Billy, especially, has to face the consequences of this whole twisty plot. The framework is there, but it’s just a bit too flimsy.

The writer, John Hibey, clearly had something to say about the use of cryptocurrency to take advantage of desperate people and how those desperate people can also do damage to others. There’s a clear through line about stealing from the rich to give to the poor, Robin Hood style, and repeated references to Moby Dick. Cold Wallet is not missing a message; it’s just a rather simple one that doesn’t become more nuanced or interesting as the runtime goes on. I’ll give the writer credit for Chekov’s Roomba though! I really appreciated how it was used.

I do think most of the performances are quite good. Raul Castillo has a particularly heart-wrenching scene later in the film as he speaks to his daughter. Billy’s trying to get the money back from this crypto in order to buy a house where he can live with his daughter, and things have started to go south. This is really one of the only emotional beats in the film, and it works like a charm. I also found Tony Cavalero and Melonie Diaz really entertaining in their roles, though they have less to chew on.

On the whole, there are parts of Cold Wallet that work, but there’s not enough connective tissue to fill out the runtime and make for a satisfying viewing experience. The turns are interesting, and Billy’s emotional arc is set up pretty well, but ultimately, the film’s a little bit hollow at the center. It’s all just a big fight over fake money.

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