Directed by Michael Goi
Written by Anthony Jaswinski
Starring Gary Oldman, Emily Mortimer, Jennifer Esposito and a sailboat
Running time: 1 hour and 24 minutes

by Audrey Callerstrom

Early on in Mary, Lydia (Emily Mortimer) is hanging out with her husband, David (Gary Oldman), their two daughters and all their friends, celebrating David’s recent purchase of an old sailboat named Mary which he intends to use to start a charter boat business. Lydia is laughing with her family and drinking a bottle of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Later, as the family takes off on their trial voyage, Lydia has a disturbing dream. She wakes up and tells David. He makes a comment to the effect of, “Must be all those margaritas you had last night.” Wait, margaritas? When were there margaritas? And did she wake up in the middle of the night, or from a nap? Also, who cares? “Mary” seems to be written from an algorithm and edited by my toddler who occasionally comes over to my laptop and smashes the keys.