Directed by Guy Ritchie (2017)
by Jaime Davis, The Fixer

Look, I know nothing about the myth that is King Arthur so don't quiz me, ok? But that sure as hell didn't stop me from checking out King Arthur: Legend of the Sword because JUDE LAWWWWW is in this. And DJIMONNNNN is in this. And BANAAAAAA is in this. And LITTLEFINGER FROM GOT! And everyone's most hated barmaid from Peaky Blinders (aka Tom Cruise's main squeeze). And the girl I have a crush on from Merlin, but she's only in it for a hot sec and a half so don't get excited!! And that Lil British Scrub, Charlie Hunnam, as King Arthur. A lotta lords and ladies be buggin' about this buff lump of Yorkshire pudding, but your girl Jaime can't care. I remember him from his scrawny, pasty Undeclared days so he does like, literally nothing for me. Nothing, I tell you!