by Matthew Waldron

What the hell is wrong with you people?

Sorry. But it has to be broached. Because I'm mystified.

For instance- raking leaves. It's exhausting. It's not fun to be exhausted. Basically it's not something I look forward to. Being scared for 2 hours? Equally exhausting. Granted, in its own way. But still. And so what the hell is wrong with you people? Billions of dollars pumped every year into the "scary movie/horror"-industry (for lack of a better term). Ostensibly for the benefit of feeling what is usually accepted, universally, to be a negative emotion. Vexing for me to wrap my head around. So, as in all times of perplexing-cinematic-crisis, we turn to the Gods: