Directed by Neil Jordan
Written by Anne Rice (screenplay and novel)
Starring: Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise and Kirsten Dunst
Running Time: 2 hours and 3 minutes
MPAA Rating: R for sexual content and vampire violence/gore

by Jaime Davis, Ashley Jane Davis, Audrey Callerstrom, Emily Maesar and Ryan Smillie

The Tommy C. Appreciation Club, or TCAC, solemnly swears to watch and appreciate all theatrical performances by Tom Cruise then recap them, round-table style. In this edition, the Moviejawn crew embarks on a bonkers adventure with our pal Tommy in Interview with a Vampire: The Vampire Chronicles.

Jaime Davis, Fixer - Well everyone, welcome to the roundtable! I’d like to start out by saying that this movie is 100% gay and, as a gay human, I 100% loved it even more than I did watching it in high school when it was released. Could be gayer though, IMO. I wanted to see them fretting over house repairs, fighting over sharing each other’s clothes, making out, the whole bit.

So, my MJ friends, which Tommy C. did we like the most in this? Golden Flowy Locks Tommy C., Swamp Thing Tommy C., or Crypt Keeper Tommy C.?

Ashley Jane Davis - Unlike Jaime, I was not a fan of the Golden Flowy Locks. I think the colour threw me off. I found Tommy C.’s character to be extremely NO so, hmm, I guess I preferred Crypt Keeper Tommy C. At least then he was a little less mobile. Although he was still manipulative as all hell - there’s our boy!

The whole time we were watching, I was wondering which parts were him acting, and which parts were him simply *existing* in his normal culty day-to-day life. But yeah, def a gay story. I dunno, I also enjoyed the tension of everything unsaid. Like…”are they gonna kiss...oh….ohhhh...so close.” What can I say? I’m well known for my subtlety.

Audrey Callerstrom - Lestat comes alive when he’s pissed, but quiet and menacing isn’t Tommy C’s breed. I know Anne Rice novels are Very Serious, and this movie is also Very Serious, but oh, if he could cut loose! Camp it up! That wide-eyed Cruise energy, like you’re waking up after a night of partying and he’s already made breakfast, lunch, cleaned and done ten jigsaw puzzles. But that’s not what director Neil Jordan envisioned. Sigh.Swamp Thing Cruise for sure. When I was in New Orleans in 2011 I went on a “vampire tour” where they talked about this movie, showed areas where it was filmed (like the swamp) and, in the end, you got drunk with the tour host. I didn’t appreciate that experience as much then as I do now.

Emily Maesar - There’s something so completely alluring, in the best macabre kind of way, about Swamp Thing Tommy C. in this flick. The piano playing with the white lace drape fluttering about? The absolute drama of Lastat’s “Surprise, bitch,” vibes just speaks to me on a visceral level. I can’t help it! I’m too queer for this absolutely campy gay relationship drama.

I remember when I finally watched this film, a full twelve years after its release, I was deeply unstoked about Tommy C. playing one of my newly minted favorite dramatic assholes. I hadn’t seen the light yet… because I hadn’t seen this flick. This film was my turning point in my love for the legend that is Tom Cruise. The performance, the absolute range and the ending!?! Gay yearning and drama has never been so perfect to me. What else can I say?

Ryan Smillie - I have to stick up for Golden Flowy Locks Tommy C.! In a movie that gets bogged down by how seriously it treats becoming a vampire, feasting on blood and co-parenting your scheming immortal daughter, Cruise’s Lestat is a sadistic breath of fresh, queer air for the first half of the movie. After he’s left for dead (twice!), he takes the fun and the wig budget of Interview with a Vampire with him. And when he reappears (as Swamp Thing, then Crypt Keeper), it’s like running into a bad influence on a night out - we can’t go home yet, let’s take some shots and carjack Christian Slater! His campy performance might not fit the tone of the movie around it, but that’s the movie I’d rather watch.

If there’s one thing you can say about Tommy C., it’s that he’s always completely committed. Nowadays, that usually takes the form of extreme stunt work or filming a movie in space, but I don’t think Interview with a Vampire is much different. His Lestat is big and bold with a questionable accent, and even when it doesn’t quite fit him, Cruise just doubles down, using his megawatt charisma to bring Lestat to life (well, not exactly to life). Wouldn’t it be incredible to watch him take a huge swing like this again?

Jaime Davis - Ryan, I’m nodding so hard in agreement right now. Please, please, please give me Golden Flowy Locks Tommy C. forever and always, amen. His performance may not be set to Full Camp, but I found him delightfully charming nonetheless. When he’s gone at first, after being left for dead (the first time!) his presence is sorely missed. Then all you have is a scenery-chewing Kirsten Dunst running tiny circles around Legends of the Fall and his boring, stoic non-acting. You can literally see Dunst wanting to smack the living heck out of Pitt, yelling, “Hey, I’m acting here!” and in my head I said that in full-on Dustin Hoffman in Midnight Cowboy voice. Tommy C. may appear to be in a completely different movie, but I’m totally okay with that, especially when his Golden Flowy Locks freak-outs sound kindaaaaa like Jerry Maguire with a splash of Frank T.J. Mackey from Magnolia.

Okay, very important question time. If any of the Tommy C. Lestats cornered you in a dark bar/alley/Panera Bread/movie theater and said, “I’m going to give you the choice I never had…” what would you do?

Ashley Jane Davis - Would I like to become a vampire? Absolutely. HOWEVER. It has to be with the right person, and sorry folks, Tommy C. ain’t that for me. Living forever is probably cool and everything, but if someone is just gonna use me and treat me like shit for lifetimes upon lifetimes, then no thanks. It’s bad enough to have a friend do that, but… we know they’re not *just* friends. Wait - what are the vampire rules? Are you tied to whoever turns you? That makes all the difference. Because if Lestat propositioned me, I could make the switcheroo, and then just get the hell away from him, then yes. But if not, I’m not messin’ with that nonsense. I think I would wait until I met a lovely and caring vampire who would buy me a coffee and a muffin in a hotel coffee shop and show me the sweeter side of vampiring for the ages.

Listen, I’ll be honest. My favourite scene in the whole movie involved Kirsten Dunst (who fucking OWNS this performance), Tommy C. and fire. You know the one. I loved when he was gone. Bye, dude.

Perhaps I’m like the dad here but my warning is: don’t romanticize *every* vampire. Some are good: Bela Lugosi. Harry Nilsson. Dracula’s Daughter. But this guy? Nah. There are other choices out there. I would have saved Christian Slater.

Audrey Callerstrom - I read that Brad Pitt hated being in this movie. He hated the colored contacts and apparently they hung everyone upside down during makeup? It shows in the performance. You know when you tell a kid to clean their room, and they’re like “no!” and then you’re like “do it now!” and they’re like “ugh FINE!” His performance is like that. He’s like FINE. I’LL DO IT. THERE. ARE YOU HAPPY? I forgot how much of this film Kirsten Dunst carries. At first I was underwhelmed by Tommy, with his 1970s hair waves and velvet bows, but then as soon as he’s gone, the energy goes, too, and it doesn’t come back until he pops up in Christian Slater’s car.

I noticed how few grown women are actually in this film. Thandie Newton makes a brief appearance, and there are a couple women here and there with no names, but this is all dudes. Dudes with long hair, ruffles, and press-on nails.

Emily Maesar - I can’t express the amount I want to be a vampire. And maybe it’s because I wish the world weren’t burning down in quite the same way as it was when I was seven and watching Buffy every week with my family… but even Tommy C.’s ultimate dramatic and messy Lastat has me dreaming of the possibilities.

Now, I will say that it certainly feels like Cruise’s version of Lastat, not necessarily the book’s, would vibe so hard in What We Do in the Shadows. Can you even imagine? He’d fit in perfectly with all those weirdos! I also both agree and disagree about Pitt’s performance. I have no doubt he absolutely hated doing the whole thing, truly seems like a nightmare from a filming point of view, but he’s kind of the perfect Louis. This weird sad sack who truly hates being here? Yeah, he totally nails that for me. But there’s a reason why Tommy C.’s face is the face on the poster - and it’s that this performance absolutely makes this film work. Because even if it doesn’t work all the way through for you, Cruise always works.

Also! Since we mentioned the ever amazing Thandie Newton… can I get a big YIKES for all the slave plantation part of the story. I honestly forgot that this was a big part of the start of the story and that’s because I needed to bleach it from my brain. It’s not much better in the book, but DAMN at the early 90s depiction of slavery and whatever the hell Louis was doing.

Ryan Smillie - Yeahhhh, I’m glad that Thandie Newton has moved on to bigger and better things (even if she called working with Tommy C. again on Mission: Impossible II "a nightmare"), because those plantation scenes were not it. I don’t even know where to begin with my complaints - they weren’t handled well and they didn’t add a single thing to the movie, not even in a misguided way. I’d like to think we’ve left that treatment of slavery back in the 90s, but I’m not too sure about that…

I have to echo Audrey and Emily - it’s pretty obvious that Brad Pitt is not enjoying any of this. He never seems comfortable with the makeup, contacts or fangs, and now that I’m thinking about it, he’s rarely taken roles that require this much transformation in the years since Interview with a Vampire. Benjamin Button probably comes the closest, but I don’t think that digital transformation required any hanging upside down to get right.

But to answer the most pressing question - do I want to be a vampire? Not really. It seems fun enough when you’re seducing older women and their gay companions, but then you’re stuck with the cold-blooded maniac who made you a vampire and he wants to find more blood and you just want to get a good night’s sleep in your coffin. It just seems very stressful! But…. am I certain that Tommy C.’s Lestat could convince me that I want to? Absolutely. And that’s why he works so well in this role! He’s an indestructible vampire bad boy - you know he’s no good, but when he asks you if you want to be a vampire, you have no choice but to say yes.

The Tommy C. Report Card was completed by Jaime Davis, Audrey Callerstrom, Emily Maesar, Hunter Bush, Ryan Silberstein, Liz Locke and Chris Locke. The final score reflects an average of all report cards completed by TCAC and is taken extremely seriously...which is to be expected.

Find where to watch Interview With a Vampire here.