Chapter 078: The Preppy Murders
Next Episode airs tonight, 8pm eastern

by Rosalie Kicks, Old Sport

“Reindeer Games.”

OMG! Riverdale pals we have so much to catch up on since our last visit.

Brett Weston Wallis (Sean Depner) is back and makes a prison call to our favorite mystery duo, Bughead. Apparently Brett had some juicy information to spill that could only be heard in person and with a caveat, of course, requiring the assistance of none other than Hiram Lodge. Unfortunately, Bughead doesn’t make it to the scene in time and wellllll, goodbye Brett. Frankly, I won’t miss the kid. It really isn’t the death that shook me, it was the way that he died: eyeballs gouged, ick!

Of course, as I say, when one coffin closes another opens. Which brings me to poor Archie (K.J. Apa). One may suspect this kid has a thing for the dead as he seems to have taken to talking to his deceased father’s tombstone in the pale moonlight. Or it is probably just trauma - he doesn’t really seem like the necromancer type, if you ask me. Seriously, this kid just can’t catch a break. There is no doubt the VARCHIE faction has officially imploded. However, despite the ultimate demise of Riverdale’s biggest power couple, Ronnie (Camila Mendes) wants to keep it cool by pretending they are still together until graduation is over. Archie wants none of it. Not only this, but Archie is also dealing with a riled up Hiram Lodge who is looking for a rematch to avenge Archie’s betrayal to his fair mija. Hopefully reds can make it out of senior year in one piece. Maybe the return of Uncle Frank will help?

As for Hiram, he seems to have his priorities misaligned. While he is off sparring like a kangaroo with Archie, he is in the midst of losing everything. When Hermosa Lodge comes to Veronica’s aid in what would have played out to be a good fashioned back alley diner mob hit, the two sisters have a moment of appreciation. The two are fed up with Hiram’s antics and decide a hostile takeover is in order. I was surprised to find Momma Lodge in on the scheme. Her divorce reveal shook me, and I can’t just can’t wait to see how the Lodge saga will play out.

I am also excited to see that Cheryl Blossom’s (Madelaine Petsch) story is picking up speed again. With Mumsie Blossom crawling out of the walls of Thistle house once more with the talk poison, I couldn’t be more thrilled. Now that Mumsie is back in the picture, there is no need for Cheryl to worry her pretty li’l head, about her wicked extended family. I guarantee her plans to rebrand the maple business will now go swimmingly with Mumsie in her corner.

Sadly for Betty Cooper (Lili Reinhart), her family drama just seems to have no end. I have to admit, brother Charles always rubbed me the wrong way. When it was revealed that he and Chick were sitting in a tree, I was just waiting for Charles’s other shoe to drop. For Bughead, they think with the capture of Charles they not only solved the recent string of Stonewall Prep Murders but also of the nefarious AUTEUR. I particularly loved this moment as it reminded me of an episode of the Maury Povich talk show. I imagined Maury in the room with Bughead during the big reveal saying, “CHARLES you are NOT THE AUTEUR!”. Remember the VHS tapes? I about died when Betty dubs the fiend leaving VHS tapes on doorsteps all around town “THE AUTEUR.” With Charles confessing he is not behind the sinister recordings, Bughead is at a loss for who could be creating the films. One thing is clear though, The Auteur is just ramping up and things are going to get a lot creepier. With the most recent tape being filmed inside the house, I can only imagine what’s in store for the residents of Riverdale next.