Split Decision: Choose Your Fighter
Welcome to MovieJawn’s Split Decision! Each week, Ryan will pose a question to our staff of knowledgable and passionate film lovers and share the responses. Chime in on Twitter, Facebook, our Instagram, or in the comments below.
This week’s question:
If you were to enter any movie character into a martial arts tournament where the fate of the Earth hangs in the balance, who would you choose?
Chris Farley’s Haru from Beverley Hills Ninja. How is this even a question? All other fighters pale in comparison. –Ian Hrabe, Staff Writer
"Pale in comparison?" Was that a pun, Ian? Because if so, first off, bravo. Second off, you're wrong. The obvious, in fact only, answer is Patrick Swayze's Dalton from Road House. -Nikk Nelson, Staff Writer
I agree with the Cinematic Maniac here - Dalton for the win. He’s the type of guy you call when you need some eyeballs swept up. –Rosalie Kicks, Old Sport
Kyuzo (Seiji Miyaguchi) from Seven Samurai. He wastes no energy, seeks no praise, and will cut your ass down with one calculated swipe of the steel. -Eireann Mannino, Contributor
For me, it has to be Officer Rama from The Raid: Redemption and The Raid 2. The dude has gone through basically two armies worth of people with assorted weapons and whatever fighting technique will get him to the next moment. –Ryan Silberstein, The Red Herring
I would probably go with Scott Adkins, who impressed me in Avengement. He practically took out everyone in that film in the nastiest, most violent ways imaginable. I’d put my trust in him. –Gary M. Kramer, Staff Writer
Michael Corleone, The Godfather. You see what happened when he took a nasty punch to the face? Lots and lots and lots of people died as a result. The best kind of revenge: Petty, wounded ego revenge! -Billy Russell, Staff Writer
In Takashi Miike’s Dead or Alive, Detective Jojima and retired yakuza Ryūichi attack each other with a magical bazooka and a fireball, respectively, and blow Japan off the map. There are then two sequels. If anybody is going to defend us from the Netherrealm, it’s going to be Jojima (or Jojima and Ryūichi, who work as an Ice Climbers duo). - Alex Rudolph,. Staff Writer
John Saxon’s character Roper in Enter the Dragon he can hold his own in a martial arts competition while being the Cassanova that every great action film needs. -Tori Potenza, Staff Writer
It’s gotta be Kill Bill’s Beatrix Kiddo. The combination of extreme skill and justified rage is exactly what I want on my side. The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique doesn’t hurt either. Well, not unless it’s used against you... –Ryan Smillie, Staff Writer
I approached this thinking about the thing I loved most in the MK games: the humor. Yes, it was bloody and super violent, but it also knew that that was kinda fun. So in a similar, ass-kicking, yet fun vein, I’m choosing Black Dynamite (Michael Jai White) as my fighter, if you can dig it. When told that he couldn’t leave a river of blood trying to find his brother’s killer, Black Dynamite responded “Well, tell me who it is and I’ll only leave a puddle.” THAT’S the tone I want in a Mortal Kombat type scenario! Plus, his Animality could involve the anaconda from the Anaconda Malt Liquor label. - “Doc” Hunter Bush, Staff Writer
Doctor Manhattan from Watchmen. Just kidding, that would be cheating. But I would like to see how well Rorscach would do. His fighting style is wild, chaotic, and grounded in different martial arts.
Yes, Walter Kovacs isn’t the best fighter, but he truly is the most passionate. He could have easily escaped the police if it wasn’t for his untethered rage. Put him in a corner with someone who goes against his moral compass, and he will absolutely destroy them. He is a man that is willing to do anything for the “greater good”, and if he knew that world’s well being was in the balance, he would leave a bloodbath in his wake. - Miguel Alejandro Marquez, Staff Writer