by Billy Russell, Staff Writer

I’m used to pop culture disappointment. It happens. Inevitably, something will come out, even something that should have been an easy slam dunk, and it’ll miss the mark so entirely as to leave a sea of stunned faces in theaters across the world.

But, in 1993, how does someone even go about adapting Super Mario Brothers, the hit video game series, into a movie? There were a number of faithful cartoon series on TV, but they weren’t our introductions into the world of Mario. Chances are, you were already a fan, and you just delighted in seeing an animated version of Mario, Luigi, Peach and Toad battle Bowser & Company. A movie, at least at the time, needed to stand alone for the uninitiated. It had to serve as a starting point, to build the whole world, and to have your standard Mario “save the princess” plotline.

“Super Mario Bros.” the 1985 video game, and its sequels, were pure video game stories. There was a loose plot (Mario has to save Princess Peach from the evil King Koopa) to provide level after platforming level, but not nearly enough to fill a feature length, live action film. And to really capture the imagery of the games, which included mushrooms that made its users gigantic, flowers that gifted the power of flame, and leaves that turned our hero into flying a flying racoon and/or tanuki, this was beyond any conceivable budget for a live action film at its time.

Producer Roland Joffé enlisted the directing duo Rocky Morton and Annabel Jankel to bring it to life. Today, video game fans get upset when the casting doesn’t look exactly like their CGI counterparts. I couldn’t even imagine the reaction 1993’s Super Mario Bros. would get today with its fast and loose rules concerning the plot, story and overall look of the Mushroom Kingdom. I assume there’d be exploding heads and enough rage on the internet to reach the moon and back ten times over.

Bob Hoskins and John Leguizamo play Mario and Luigi, and I believe both are perfectly cast. Samantha Mathis plays Princess Daisy–not Peach, she’s playing Luigi’s love interest. Dennis Hopper, in between one of his big career comebacks, plays the diabolical King Koopa, whose thin, blond hair makes him a dead ringer for Donald Trump, an ominous omen of things to come. Much of the cast over the years have had bad things to say about their experience making the movie and the overall result just being bad. I will say, though, as consummate professionals (yes, even Dennis Hopper), you’d never be able to tell. For all the movie’s problems, the cast not being game is not one of those things. Even the supporting cast, which includes Fisher Stevens and Fiona Shaw, give it their all and get some great moments.

Super Mario Bros. as a movie is a tonal mess. It’s goofy as all hell. Some of the special effects work really well, others don’t. The set design is just all over the place, with some elaborate set design that is awe inspiring, and other sets that look like they were cobbled together in a hurry. And yet, for all its goofiness, there are some moments of shocking violence that feel misplaced. Yoshi, adorable, cute Yoshi, is stabbed and has to have the weapon pulled out. Toad is de-evolved into a Goomba, a brainless henchman, and during a sensitive moment, is lit on fire but is too sweet and dumb to put out the flames and runs around until Daisy extinguishes the flames. Is he okay after? The only confirmation we get is that Daisy says she “hopes so.”

All of this said, Super Mario Bros. was never a pop culture disappointment for me, even as a kid who was a huge fan of the Mario games. I was a big fan of the oft-maligned sprite-swapped “Mario 2” so maybe my standards are just lower when it comes to the Mario franchise. It wasn’t until years later that I found out people hate Super Mario Bros. and groan and roll their eyes at the mere mention of it. I knew critics hated it, but it was never meant for the critics. Sorry, Siskel and Ebert, this one was meant for the kids. Thumbs it down all you want, you’re just not the desired audience it had in mind.

But, I suppose, who was?

It’s tough to say. The movie has no interest in looking anything like the games. The Mushroom Kingdom is a dystopian, urban nightmare, akin to Blade Runner. Super Mario Bros. may have been better received if it wasn’t the first time out as a movie. It might have worked better as a dark and gritty reboot, like some sort of alternate universe version of the same basic story and characters that we all know and love.

Some of the connections to the games are cleverly done in trying to introduce the viewing audience to its world for the first time. With Jurassic Park only a month away from being released, America had Dinosaur Fever and the Koopas’ reptilian lineage was played up. The movie imagines the Mushroom Kingdom as an alternate dimension where humans evolved from dinosaurs, as opposed to apes. They look a lot like us, drive cars, and even have corrupt politicians, but their tongues will be forked and their pupils slit like a lizard’s.

I always want to say that time will be kind to Super Mario Bros. but time keeps proving me wrong on that one. I think it’s an ambitious mess of a movie, but it’s charming, funny and exciting. The problem, though, is that even if all references to Mario were removed, if this was simply a standalone movie in its current form, I think audiences would still be baffled by it. It’s just a little too weird for its own good, which is fine by me. When I was six years old, its weirdness was a breath of fresh air. It tried things. As an adult, I respect its creativity and admire the mess.

I did my recent rewatch of Super Mario Bros. for this essay on a videocassette I purchased at Goodwill for $.099, according to the sticker that’s still on it.