by Rosalie Kicks, Old Sport

When each year starts, I see myself as an explorer sailing the uncharted cinematic waters in search of treasure. As I write this, I have viewed 499 motion pictures. Thankfully I have letterboxd (follow me here) to help me track ‘em. Otherwise, I feel that some of the gems I uncover would go back to being hidden.

Here are thirteen discoveries I made that I feel are worthy of being seen, written in the order in which they were first viewed.

The Mad Doctor (1933)
Directed by: David Hand
Discovery date: January 8, 2023

Part of me is relieved I did not see this as a child for it would undoubtedly have been cause for night terrors. As an adult I appreciate the spooktacularness of this little picture. I had literal chills up and down my spine in seeing Mickey Mouse’s pup Pluto almost being subjected to a gruesome transplant by the hand of the mad doctor. What a thrilling little flick.

Written on The Wind (1956)
Directed by Douglas Sirk
Discovery date: February 12, 2023

Douglas Sirk for the win! The more films of his I watch, the more my admiration increases.

Written on The Wind is an emotional roller coaster from start to finish. Mitch Wayne (Rock Hudson) finds himself caught in the middle of an affluent family’s personal problems. Kyle Hadley (Robert Stack) is an alcoholic philanderer that can’t seem to get his act together. While his sister Marylee (Dorothy Malone) does not have the best reputation in town. Everything comes to a head when Mitch starts making moves on Kyle’s wife, Lucy (Lauren Bacall).

All of the performances in this film are exemplary. It is Robert Stack, though, that left me reeling. This guy could act. There was also a specific scene in which I found myself noticing Robert Stack for more than just his soothing voice so many recognize from the show, Unsolved Mysteries. It was one of my favorite moments in Written on The Wind: Robert Stack chugging a whiskey bottle and then immediately thereafter throwing it against a wall. The way in which he threw the bottle, you could tell he felt so damn accomplished by the sound of it shattering. He was a true star, which led me down a rabbit hole of procuring and watching the show The Untouchables (1959-1963) via eBay.

The Thing with Two Heads (1972)
Directed by Lee Frost
Discovery date: February 13, 2023

“My genius MUST BE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE.”

It should be noted that at this point in time I have viewed thirteen Ray Milland pictures in 2023. So don’t be surprised when you see him pop up again on this list. The Thing With Two Heads is an astonishing motion picture that can only be described as: absolutely and positively bananas.

A wealthy, racist doctor, Maxwell Kirshner (Ray Milland) is dying and comes up with a scheme to buy himself more time. With knowledge he has learned through previous scientific experiments, he is seeking to transplant his noggin’ onto another a man’s body. Upon completion of the transplant, Max finds that his head has been attached to a Black man’s body, Jack Moss played exquisitely by Roosevelt (Rosy) Grier. Mayhem ensues when Max finds himself in this predicament and learns that Jack is on a quest to prove his innocence.

This film has it all, from wax heads, a basement laboratory to a completely unhinged Milland. I won’t spoil it for ya, but the ending of this… well, that is something to behold.

The Suspect (1944)
Directed by Robert Siodmak
Discovery date: February 21, 2023

A melancholic shopkeeper, Phillip Marshall (Charles Laughton) begins a relationship with a younger woman Mary Gray (Ella Raines). When his wife discovers this, she threatens to destroy Mary’s reputation. Phillip decides to take matters into his own hands.

This here my friends is an example of a great picture. Not a moment is wasted, which is just how I like ‘em. There’s nothing like witnessing a demure person get pushed to murder! We all have a dark side, and for some that includes blood. Not only is this a thrilling yarn, the acting is superb, particularly from Charles Laughton and Ella Raines.

You Can Never Tell (1951)
Directed by Lou Breslow
Discovery date: February 27, 2023

“Humanimals.”

This is one of those pictures that entered my home and I invited it to move in permanently. It was made especially for me and is absolute pure magic. Joyce Holden and Dick Powell are absolutely precious in this quirky, kooky movie about a doggo that inherits a fortune after his wealthy owner passes on to the other side. In learning of this, the poor pup is poisoned but is given the opportunity to come back to earth as a human in order to solve the crime. More movies like this please and thank you.

I Was a Teenage Serial Killer (1993)
Directed by Sarah Jacobson
Discovery date: March 25, 2023

What happens when a teenage girl is exhausted due to the incessant badgering from sexist men? Well, she goes on a killing spree. Filmmaker, Sarah Jacobson was a talent and a treasure that was taken from this earth far too soon. Thankfully, her films are still around so that her voice is not silenced.

Living Dolls (1980)
Directed by Todd Coleman
Discovery date: March 27, 2023

I have no idea how in the heck I stumbled upon this short. However, the story I am gonna tell is this: FATE. Fate led me to this inspiring and wildly thrilling picture which then, in turn, led me to googling the director, having a text message exchange with him and then sending him a link to the short film, Pizzaman that I made with my BFF, Katie McBrown. W I L D stuff.

It should be said that Living Dolls will not be for everyone. For those that have a fondness for mannequins, this one is worth a peek. This is shot and edited extremely well. All the close-ups of the mannequins are fantastically frightful. The sound design works well and delivers an eerie vibe. Personally, I think looking into a mannequin’s eyes can offer a window in a soul as I see them as living creatures. If you have watched The Twilight Zone, episode 34 entitled “The After Hours”, you know what I speak of. In the case of Melvin in Living Dolls, he stared into the eyes of a mannequin and found out. Watch Living Dolls here and keep an eye out for the feature film Katie McBrown and I will be co-writing/directing entitled, Compannequin.

Alias Nick Beal (1949)
Directed by John Farrow
Discovery date: April 18, 2023

“I don’t like to be touched.”

Films that utilize fog as a character immediately score points from me. I find this technique to not only enhance the atmosphere, but also set the mood and tone of the story.

Alias Nick Bela is a noir tale of the downfall of an honest man that essentially makes a deal with the devil. After a district attorney foolishly says that he would sell his soul to find a gangster he has been trying to put behind bars, suddenly like magic, the suave smoothie Nick Beal (Ray Milland) emerges from the shadows.

There is a lot to like in this one, in particular the performances from Ray Milland and Audrey Totter. If you recognize Audrey’s name, you may recall her from episode 011 of my podcast, Cinematic Crypt, found here, in which I exhumed the Arch Oboler film, Bewitched.

Cecil B. Demented (2000)
Directed by John Waters
Discovery date: July 2, 2023

“Power to the people who punish bad cinema!”

2023 was the year that I welcomed John Waters into my life.

For far too long John’s motion pictures were on my want to watch list and frankly, as a cinephile, it was a disgrace. Thankfully, the Mahoning Drive-In hosted the JOHN WATERS FILTHY FILM FEST in October and I managed to catch a number of his flicks.

I watched Cecil B. Demented for the first time in July as it was not scheduled to play the fest and wowzers, this is a damn masterpiece. A bunch of underground filmmakers kidnap a Hollywood star and demand she act in their indie production. For those that have not seen this film, it is non-stop bananas. The ride it takes you on is unlike anything one can prepare themselves for. I love this flick and John Waters so much.

Geometría (1987)
Directed by Guillermo del Toro
Discovery date: August 29, 2023

“I called you because I don’t want to take the geometry test again.”

True story: Geometry was the hardest subject for me in school. I was constantly attending the tutoring sessions the teacher offered and I think she just felt so bad for me, and gave me a C+.

With that said, Guillermo del Toro’s short Geometría resonated with me in many ways. It made me feel seen. If I had been more savvy and satanic in my teenage years, I would have contemplated summoning a demon to avoid the horridness of taking another Geometry test. Guillermo captures the sentiment of many teens with this short picture and does so in a color-drenched palette too. It is easy to see that, even in his early days, Guillermo was a master and my only hope is that if wishes do come true he will one day by my film mentor. ✨🔮

Fuck The Devil (1990)
Directed by Michael Pollklesener
Discovery date: September 4, 2023

There are few films that have the ability to leave me absolutely speechless and, well, Fuck The Devil is one of those flicks. When a malicious entity escapes an Evil Dead 2 VHS tape and possesses a young boy, he goes on a killing spree unlike anything eyes have ever witnessed. My partner in crime, Benjamin and I purchased this film from AGFA and, all I can say is, they are doing the lord’s work.

Peeping Tom (1960)
Directed by Michael Powell
Discovery date: September 10, 2023

“Take me to your cinema…”

Mark Lewis (Karlheinz Böhm) is filming a documentary about fear and a person’s reactions to it. In order to achieve an authentic reaction, he must commit murder! I appreciate a person’s dedication to partake in acts, even outrageous ones, for the sake of the integrity of their picture. Mark is a cinematic guy and understands that sometimes you must go to extremes to get that perfect shot. Respect.

This is another film that I am not quite sure why it took me so long to get around to watching. Despite it only having a single Archer, the film is aces. Absolutely creeptastic and one that I most definitely need to add to our family’s physical media library. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: More slashers in Technicolor please.

Paddington (2014)
Directed by Paul King
Discovery date: November 24, 2023

I realize that I am extremely late to arrive aboard the Paddington love train. Now that I have finally made it to Paddington station, I find I must send my deepest apologies for dragging my feet for so long getting here. This motion picture is practically precious in every way. What may surprise you is that I finally was convinced to give Paddington, a shot after viewing Paul King’s recent motion picture, Wonka. King performs magic on the screen and going forward I will keep an eye out for for his work.

Paddington managed to teach me a few valuable lessons that I shall carry with me until death’s door:

1. I must procure a teddy bear post haste, preferably this one.
2. Marmalade is necessity to my existence to ensure that daily vit-a-mins are procured.
3. The importance of having an emergency sandwich under one’s hat for one never knows what the day will bring.

Oh and don’t fret, I have already watched Paddington 2 and found it equally as charming.