by Batzina Belfry (aka Rosalie Kicks, Old Sport)

I bid you welcome creepies, ghoulies, goblins and spookies to The Cinematic Crypt.

For those not familiar with my presence I am Batzina Belfry, resident gravedigger here at MovieJawn. I specialize in traveling six feet under to pry open coffins of the strange and unusual corpses of Hollywood. In my laboratory, I perform post watch examinations of some of their forgotten films. In fact, let’s head down there now (my editor told me to provide this disclaimer: ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK). Watch your step and please don’t mind the mess, I am in the midst of decorating for my annual Monster Movie Mash.

Each year I invite some of my favorite monsters over for a twenty-four cinematic extravaganza of sorts. We feast on some of our favorite spooky treats and devour a specially curated batch of films that I carefully select. This year, I thought it would be fangtastic to make this list public so that other goblins and ghouls can join in the spooktacular festivities from the comfort of their own lairs. Join us for a night filled with somnambulists, witches, mad scientists, vampire bats and monsters!

BEWARE! Some of these flicks are not for the faint of heart. Although, my suspicion is that if you are willing to spend an entire day watching flicks you will find that that the thrills ‘n chills these cinematic specimens offer will be exactly what you seek for a frightfully filled Halloween.

BEFORE DESCENDING INTO THE CINEMATIC CRYPT… place all electronic devices in sleep mode, the only screen you should be paying attention to is the silver one. Also. Don’t forget your snax and treats. Need ideas? May want to check out my article entitled, “You’re Invited to a Monster Mash” for some fangtastic recipes that are sure to satisfy the appetite of any monster. Available for purchase here.

*An example of someone’s face that is* *afraid of silent film* *as seen on the character Cesare from the film, Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.*

Showtime: 7pm, Halloween Night

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (dir. Robert Wiene, 1920)
Run Time 75 minutes
Now Streaming here

There are many creatures that experience trepidation at the thought of watching silent film and I am here to tell you my dear spookies, they are making themselves look ridiculous.

Well, I should advise that one who is looking to dive into the silent film watching does indeed approach with caution. For when you watch a non-talking picture you have to be willing to surrender yourself to the film itself. One can’t be bogged down by distractions such as mobile cellular telephone devices, walkie talkies or computers. NO. An individual has to be willing to in essence surrender their soul to the celluloid. If you blink, you may miss something and there is no audible dialogue the will save a person that is drowning in confusion.

One of my favorite spooky silents that are sure to kick things off with a scream is none other than The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920). This is the tale of a mysterious Dr. Caligari who seemingly has control over a somnambulist, Cesare. Typically in a death-like sleep trance, Cesare is awoken periodically by the spooky Doctor and instructed to perform horrifying tasks. This is a cinematic masterpiece and will manage to cause future haunts in one’s mind for years to come. If you are so inclined, you can learn more about the Robert Wiene’s film production and Cesare (Conrad Veidt) on the Cinematic Crypt, episode 003 here.

Showtime: 8:15PM

The Uninvited (dir. Lewis Allen, 1944)
Run Time 99 minutes
Now Streaming here

The Uninvited has one of my favorite homes ever captured on film and is a motion picture that must be experienced.

Siblings, Roderick (Ray Milland) and Pamela (Ruth Hussey) Fitzgerald leave the city life behind and move into an a seaside home that has been abandoned for a number of years. They soon find that the home may not deserted after all when peculiar events start to occur.

This film has some amazing performances, in particular from Gail Russell, who sadly was taken far too soon. I absolutely love the overall look and feel of this film. There is a spooky yet serene sensation that overtakes me while I watch it. I truly believe that there would be no better place to haunt than on a coastal estate. The cinematography is something to behold and the seance scene is nothing to sneeze at either. Learn more about Lewis Allen’s The Uninvited on Cinematic Crypt episode 022 here.

Showtime: 10PM

The Devil Bat (dir. Jean Yarborough. 1940)
Run Time 68 minutes
Now Streaming here

I am fond of a number of dead guys however, my absolute favorite cadaver is none other than the marvelous Bela Lugosi. I shall assume that you are familiar with the notorious Tod Browning motion picture, Dracula (1931), therefore I wanted to share one of his lesser known flicks, The Devil Bat.

Dr. Carruthers (Bela Lugosi) feels exploited by his employer, Heath and Morton. This causes the doctor to devise a plan to take down all those associated with the nefarious company. Spending nights under the pale moonlight toiling in his laboratory he engineers ginormous bats to do his bidding.

This is such a wild and fun flick. I truly believe Bela Lugosi was having the time of his life on this picture. Upon watching one will find it immediately become a staple for every spooky watch party and quite possibly become inspired to read “The Communist Manifesto”. Learn more Jean Yarborough’s The Devil Bat on Cinematic Crypt episode 001 here.

Showtime: 11:15PM

Suspiria (dir. Dario Argento, 1977)
Run Time 99 minutes
Now Streaming here

Of corpse, with the witching hour approaching, one needs to watch a flick about witches and there is not one more magnificent to fit the bill than Dario Argento’s Suspiria.

Upon arriving to the prestigious Tanz Dance Academy in Frieberg, Germany, American Suzy Bannion (Jessica Harper) has a feeling something is not quite right. For those that have not witnessed this gorgeously shot horror film from Dario Argento they are in for a real treat. This is a picture the eyes shall not forget.

Showtime: 1AM

The Exorcist (dir. William Friedkin, 1973)
Run Time 122 minutes
Now Streaming here

It is Halloween and everyone is entitled to one good scare! No better way to do so than viewing William Friedkin horrific masterpiece, The Exorcist.

Twelve year old Regan MacNeil makes the mistake of dabbling with a Ouija board and wellllll… wild things start to happen. I’ve only seen this movie a handful of times due to the frights it still manages to give me. However, were you really trying to sleep anyways? This is a movie marathon, sleep is for the dead.

Showtime: 3:15AM

Ouija: Origin of Evil (dir. Mike Flanagan, 2016)
Run Time 99 minutes
Now Streaming here

In case you didn’t realize that playing with Ouija boards needs to be done with trepidation I recommend checking out the cautionary tale, Ouija:Origin of Evil from Mike Flanagan. The problem with Ouija boards is that you may think you know who you are speaking with but in reality you are probably dead wrong.

Showtime: 5AM

Village of The Damned (dir. Wolf Rilla, 1960)
Run Time 77 minutes
Now Streaming here

For those unaware, children are indeed terrifying. If you think I am joking, just see the photographic evidence above. This motion picture does not lie. It instead shows the true intentions of all children and that is: to feast on soul.

After a small English village falls unconscious they awake to find that every woman is with child. Upon their births, each child shares strikingly similar features; blond hair and piercing eyes. Things within the town become quite peculiar when the children seem to have a unbreakable bond and are able to communicate telepathically. The villagers start to question whether these life forms are truly of this earth.

Showtime: 6:30AM

Lonesome Ghosts (dir. Burt Gillett, 1937)
Run Time 9 minutes
Now Streaming here

Not everything needs to be super scary! I too like to take a break with a silly spooky every now and again and nothing is more perfect for that than the 1937 animated flick, Lonseome Ghosts. On a dark and stormy night, four bored ghosts decide to contact the original ghostbusters: Mickey, Donald and Goofy. Comedy of corpse ensues.

Showtime: 6:40AM

House on Haunted Hill (dir. William Castle, 1959)
Run Time 77 minutes
Now Streaming here

One can’t have a Halloween party without inviting monarch of macabre, Vincent Price.

Vincent plays Frederick Loren, a man who invites five strangers to a spooktacular party with the chance to win $10,000. All they need to do is spend one night in a house that welllll, just happens to be haunted. House on Haunted Hill is an absolute classic and also features another favorite dead guy of mine, character corpse, Eisha Cook Jr.

Showtime: 6:40AM

The Cat and The Canary (dir. Paul Leni, 1927)
Run Time 108 minutes
Now Streaming here

Another spooktacular haunted house flick is the 1927 silent film from Paul Leni The Cat and The Canary. This falls in one of my favorite genres: Wills ‘n Thrills.

Twenty years after the death of Cyrus West his relatives descend upon his derelict mansion for the reading of his will. It is found that Annabelle West shall be the sole heir, with the stipulation that she is deemed sane. If not, the fortune shall go to those person named in an envelope that unfortunately disappears. With that, mysterious and bizarre events ensue. Learn more about Paul Leni’s 1927 silent on the Cinematic Crypt podcast, episode 004 here.

Showtime: 8:40AM

Psycho (dir. Alfred Hitchcock, 1960)
Run Time 109 minutes
Now Streaming here

Psycho may not be about a haunted house but it does however feature one of my favorite homes in cinema. I adore The Bates home so much and hope one day to own a similar abode to live out what I’ll refer to as my “Golden Girls era” with some of my favorite gal pals.

There are plenty of Hitchcock films I love and cherish, but this my creepies is one of my favorites.

Showtime: 10:40AM

The Devil Doll (dir. Tod Browning, 1936)
Run Time 79 minutes
Now Streaming here

Speaking of little old ladies, one can’t go through this life without witnessing Lionel Barrymore as everyone’s favorite grandma that sells dolls that are in fact miniaturized humans. How magical!

Showtime: 11:45AM

Dead Silence (dir. James Wan, 2007)
Run Time 89 minutes
Now Streaming here

I understand that black and white cinema can give some people the yawns. These individuals in fact do perplex me and there is one cure for this issue: coffin time. However, another option is to throw on a more modern flick I suppose. Now before, you start thinking I am off my rocker by recommending a spin off from The Saw series, I am here to tell you… Dead Silence is a sleeper hit.

Upon receiving a mystery package containing a ventriloquist doll, Jamie’s life is turned upside down when he decides to seek out the truth behind its’ origins.

Showtime: 1:15PM

Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (dir. Charles Barton, 1948)
Run Time 83 minutes
Now Streaming here

Halloween is not complete with my annual watch of Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein.

Wilbur (Lou Costello) and Chick (Bud Abbott) are a couple of shipping couriers that so happen to become entangled with the delivery of the remains of Count Dracula and Frankenstein’s Monster. This flick may not feature Boris Karloff, but it does have Bela and my one of my favorite performances from Lon Chaney Jr.

Showtime: 2:45PM

Seed of Chucky (dir. Don Mancini, 2004)
Run Time 87 minutes
Now Streaming here

I love the killer doll that goes by Chucky and I honestly feel that Don Mancini’s Seed of Chucky is totally underrated. I may have a fondness for a lot of dollz, but there is none more closer to my heart than Glen/Glenda.

If you’re looking to dip your toe into the Chucky series this movie may be jumping into the deep end… but isn’t life more fun that way? Upon learning that a film is being made about his deceased parents, Glen/Glenda travels to Hollywood and resurrects them in hopes to learn more about the infamous duo.

Showtime: 4:15PM

Arsenic and Old Lace (dir. Frank Capra, 1944)
Run Time 118 minutes
Now Streaming here

Nothing like a couple of old ladies poisoning people!

Frank Capra’s Arsenic and Old Lace was said to be despised by its’ star Cary Grant but I find this enchanting little flick to be a spooktacular delight. When Mortimer Brewster (Cary Grant) makes a quick trip home to inform his aunts that he was married, he discovers that the two have taken on an interesting hobby of… murderrrrr!

My partner in crime, Benjamin showed me this movie when he was trying to win me over. It worked and this flick is now part of our annual Halloween watch in the crypt.

Showtime: 6:15PM

Halloween (dir. John Carpenter, 1978)
Run Time 91 minutes
Now Streaming here

Is there any possible way to end a perfect night more perfect?

Halloween from John Carpenter still terrifies me and proved to me as a young child that there was indeed a boogeyman, and their name is: Michael Myers.

Thank you for joining me in the crypt creepies! Until next year, keep spooky time alive by listening to my soothing voice on my mystifying radio show, Cinematic Crypt. xx. Batzina Belfry